Page 13 of Dancing On Air

“I saw Eleanor today and she doesn’t understand what I am going through. I hope she can forgive me and move on with her life. She doesn’t realize that I have no choice in this matter.”

Then, to her surprise, he turned his head and looked straight at her before she even had a chance to hide. His eyes held such sadness, mixed with a hint of danger, making her heart speed up. She wanted to say something to him, God knew she did. But she just couldn’t bring herself to even speak a word, neither would she know what to say to help ease the man’s pain.

Grasping her cloak around her, she turned and ran out of the cemetery without even looking back.

* * *

Connor stoodat the gate to the cemetery, watching as Eleanor ran out and jumped into a wagon with the nuns. The horse started away as the sky became dark and the wind picked up even more. He had known she was there ever since she’d entered the cemetery. What was she doing? Why in heaven’s name had she been watching him? Why couldn’t she just leave him alone? His life was hard enough without her hanging around him. It only made him hate his new life even more.

He headed down the road for home just as it started to rain. He’d be soaked before long, but right now he didn’t even care. Several wagons passed him on the road, and also a few men on horseback. None of them even offered him a ride, and neither did he bother to ask. Once they’d see his face, they would take off at full gallop atop their horses, leaving him in the dust, so he didn’t even try.

It was a good hour’s walk to his home from the castle. The sky opened up and a torrential downpour started. He stopped, removing his hood from his head and turning his face up to the sky with his eyes closed. Mayhap he’d be cleansed from the rains. Either that, or he’d catch pneumonia and die. Either way, he’d be free, he decided, so it didn’t even matter. He walked in the rain all the way back, stopping in the woods near to his home where his sister Francesca was buried.

“Frannie,” he said, pulling another wild rose from under his cloak, kneeling down at the pile of rocks that marked her grave. He placed the flower atop it, not even knowing what to say to his deceased sister. “I saw Mother,” he whispered. “I know you are with her now. Father will be joining you soon. Or, mayhap not,” he said, not sure he really believed in heaven and hell anymore. But if they really existed, his father’s soul was sure to go in the opposite direction at death for the things he had done.

“Connor! Connor!” came the voice of a boy. When he looked up he saw his brother, Leoric of sixteen years, as well as his youngest brother, Alaric who was five. They made their way through the woods toward him. “Father said you’d be here. He wants you to come in out of the rain.”

“Don’t worry about me,” he told his brothers, getting to his feet. “You two should stay dry. Alaric, where is your cape?”

“I left so fast that I forgot it,” said the little boy.

“Here. Take mine,” said Connor, removing his cloak and wrapping it around his little brother’s shivering body.

“That cloak is too long. He’ll trip,” said Leoric.

“Not if I carry him. Alaric, get on my back. Hurry.” Connor hunkered down and his youngest brother climbed on his back with the large cloak covering him as they all walked back to the cottage.

“What happened at the hanging today?” asked Leoric. “Father said something about you not wanting to do your job.”

“Never mind,” said Connor, not wanting to talk about the horrible day he had. Plus, he never discussed any of the executions with his siblings. There was no reason to do so. They didn’t need the heavy burden he carried.

“Father said you didn’t want to pull the lever. I would have pulled it,” said Leoric. “Then the bloody thief would have gotten what he deserved.” Leoric grabbed his throat and pretended to choke, hanging his head to the side. Alaric laughed at his brother.

“Stop it! Both of you,” commanded Connor. “I don’t ever want to hear you jest about someone’s execution again.”

“Well, if the man was guilty then he deserved to die,” continued Leoric.

“Just like Father did?” asked Connor, shutting the boy up. “And believe me, if you were there, you wouldn’t be so anxious to pull any lever.”

Leoric scowled at Connor. “I want to go to the executions, but you never let me. I’m going to ask Father to take me next time instead of you, since you are too scared to do your job.”

“Enough!” Connor spat. “Leoric, this kind of talk is unacceptable. Especially around Alaric.”

“What difference does it make?” asked Leoric. “Once Father dies, you’ll be the hangman. And when you die, I’ll be the hangman. And if something happens to me too, then Alaric will have to do it someday. Unless one of us has a son first.”

“Nothing is going to happen to me, so you two will never have to worry about being an executioner. Now stop all this talk immediately, because I don’t want to hear it again. Did you make supper?”

“Ginevra made some soup, but it tastes like piss,” said little Alaric from atop Connor’s back.

“Soup?” asked Connor. “Nay, Father needs something more strengthening than that if he is going to heal his cough. And Ginevra is only eleven. Leoric, you should have helped her.”

“Ginevra likes to cook, so I let her do it. We didn’t have any fish or meat, only root vegetables,” said Leoric as they approached the cottage.

“Didn’t you hunt today?” asked Connor. Although hunting in the lord’s forest was forbidden by commoners, the hangman was allowed to hunt once a month since he was banned from living in town. They had to collect all the meat they’d need for the month in one day and salt it and store it in the underground cellar out behind the house.

“I did, but I didn’t catch anything. And now we’re not allowed to hunt until next month,” Leoric reminded him.

“Damn,” said Connor, wishing he had been here to hunt since he would have been able to catch a deer or at least a few pheasants. He wondered if Lord Sampson’s guards would really see him hunting if he decided to go out anyway in the dark. If nothing else, he could set a few snares and hopefully catch a hare or two by morning. Then again, if he was seen and imprisoned, what would happen to his siblings, and who would take care of his ailing father? Nay, he decided he couldn’t risk it. Not right now. “I’ll go to town in the morning and see if I can pick up an odd job or two to make some money to buy some meat at the butcher’s.”