Page 20 of Lord of Misrule

“It’s Christmas, and everyone does it.” Tolin reached out and pulled her to him, pressing his lips up against hers before she could stop him. His lips were surprisingly soft and sensuous. Her eyes closed and she returned the kiss, putting her hands on his shoulders. It felt so damned good to be kissed by a handsome man. Lord Tolin might be crass and rude, but his looks made up for all his shortcomings. Kit felt something come to life deep inside her. Something that had died the day Crispin was killed. Even after having married Crispin’s brother, Gerold, she had never felt the same way. Until now.

“Well, get back to the kitchen and make me up some of those enticing tarts,” he said, quickly releasing her and pulling away.

“Tarts? But I thought you wanted mincemeat pies today.”

“I’ve had a change of heart. Tarts today and mincemeat pies tomorrow.” He pushed a strand of his long black hair behind his ear and glanced at his brother. “Daegel, Rook and I will show you how real knights joust. Come.”

“I know how to joust,” complained Daegel.

“Prove it,” said Rook with a chuckle. “Beat Tolin and me and mayhap we’ll buy you a whisky when we’re done.”

“I prefer beer,” said Daegel as the men all walked away ignoring Kit. It was as if nothing had happened. Or, at least to them. She watched them exit the great hall, her hand going to her lips, wanting to savor the kiss.

“My brothers are all pig-headed curs. Sorry about that,” said Raven, who Kit had almost forgotten was still standing there.

“Whatever do you mean?” Kit hoped Raven couldn’t see her blush. She still felt hot and heady from Tolin’s kiss. It embarrassed her that she felt this way. After all, he was a noble and she was just a commoner. One kiss under the kissing bough might mean the world to her but she was sure it was just another motion to him. Tolin Blake wouldn’t give it another thought.

“I saw the way your eyes closed and your cheeks reddened when my brother kissed you just now.”

“Oh.” She flashed a smile. “It is only because I am a widow and haven’t been kissed in quite a while.”

“Is it really?” Now it was Raven’s turn to flash a smile.

“Excuse me, my lady, but Lord Tolin wants tarts for the meal and it takes a while to make them. I really should go. I already have my hands full with the mincemeat pies. Parker, come help me,” she called to her son who was still playing with Tolin’s hound.

Raven’s hand shot out and her fingers clasped Kit’s wrist. Kit’s eyes snapped upward.

“I’m actually glad you are here. Tolin needs someone like you to put him in his place once in a while.”

“Me? Put him in his place? I could never.”

“Yes, you could and you know it as well as I,” said Raven, slowly releasing Kit’s arm.

“Pardon me for saying this, my lady, and I mean no disrespect, but I could never be interested in a man like Tolin.”

“Whatever do you mean?” Raven repeated her words back. “Because he is immature, likes to show off, constantly plays games, drinks and gambles too much, is not responsible for anything but having fun, and cannot stand losing to anyone? Especially a woman?” She raised her brows and smiled again.

Kit and Raven both burst out laughing.

“I suppose that about covers it,” said Kit.

“And now you see why my little brother needs a good woman.”

Kit’s smile slowly disappeared. “I am a widow with a son out of wedlock from a second man. I have worked hard to change my reputation and was even running the bakery on my own successfully before my son was accused of something he didn’t do. Now, I am naught more than a servant. I am at risk of losing my business as well as my home. I am responsible for not only my son, but also my very pregnant sister and her husband who has no job. So tell me, why on earth would I ever want someone in my life with all the vices you just listed regarding Tolin?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I had no idea your life was so hard. I suppose you wouldn’t.” She smiled and shrugged. “I must go joust now, to show all of my brothers that I can still beat them.”

“You’re a mother, aren’t you?” asked Kit.

“I am.”

“And you still joust? Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Whether something is dangerous or not is only an opinion. I like to feel alive. Being a mother and jousting and using weapons are all things that make me feel that way. Why should I give any of them up?”

“I see what you mean,” said Kit in deep thought.

“Kit Baker, I will leave you with a thought. I don’t want you to answer but just think about it.”

“What is that?” asked Kit.

“What makes you feel alive? And are you ready to do something dangerous so you can start living and stop just surviving? There is a difference, you know.” Raven nodded and walked away, leaving Kit standing there pondering the woman’s words of wisdom.

She supposed mayhap she wasn’t living but only surviving, just like Raven said. All of her problems would still be there tomorrow and no amount of being cautious was going to change that. Yes, mayhap she should start living after all. And to her, the most dangerous thing in her life right now was having been kissed by Lord Tolin Blake.