Page 42 of Lord of Misrule

“Yes, it has.”

“Are your parents still alive?”

“My mother is and she’s remarried. They moved overseas and live in Ireland now.”

“Why didn’t you go to Ireland to live with your parents after this happened?”

“My stepfather didn’t want us. He never got over the embarrassment of me getting pregnant out of wedlock. My parents disowned me, and now they’ve done the same to my sister.”

“I’m sorry, Kit. I didn’t know.” He reached out and put his hand over hers.

“I had a hard time rebuilding the business after Gerold’s death, but I did it. At first the customers didn’t want to come back to the bakery. I was the widow of a guild member, so I was able to keep the shop. It took a while for people to accept that.”

“How did you run the place by yourself? Isn’t that a lot of work?”

“Yes. But Gerold’s sister Vivian lived with me for a while and helped me out. She used to help Gerold before I came along, so she knew the business. But then Vivian married Willis, the town’s cordwainer. So I’ve been on my own with only Parker’s help and occasional help from Vivian since then.”

Kit couldn’t help becoming emotional. Life had been so hard and just kept getting more difficult. She felt as if she were about to burst. A stray tear dripped down her cheek. Before she could brush it away Tolin reached up and gently did so for her.

“Enough about me. Tell me about you,” she said, finally feeling better as the flames from the fire as well as Tolin’s body heat warmed her.

“There’s not much to tell,” said Tolin. “I’m the second eldest son of Lord Corbett Blake. I’m a knight and...that’s it.”

“What do you mean that’s it?” She smiled. “That is much to be proud of.”

“I fight for the king, and I must admit I like games and I don’t like losing.”

“I could tell that from the first day I met you.”

“I like you, Kit.” He reached up to stroke a stray lock of hair from her face. “You are a survivor and I admire that. With all the despair in your life, you seem to keep a positive attitude and don’t let things get you down. You are perhaps one of the strongest women I have ever met.”

“I am only doing what I need to do. For my son’s sake. If it wasn’t for him, I am sure I would have given up long ago.”

“Don’t ever stop being who you are.” He reached over and kissed her on the mouth. Kit’s eyes closed and she reached up and put her hands on his shoulders. She returned the kiss, feeling herself becoming alive again after so many years of thinking she could never have feelings for another man after Crispin died. Their lips parted gently and he still cupped her cheek.

“Have you ever been married?” she asked him.

“Me?” He chuckled in a low voice. “Nay, and I don’t plan on ever doing so, if I am lucky enough. I like not being tied down to anyone or anything. I enjoy being free as the wind, no ties to bind me.”

She wanted to ask him what he meant, but the sound of approaching voices startled her and she jumped to her feet. “I believe Jarvis and Parker have returned. I will tend to the fire and then start preparing the food.”

Kit darted away, almost grateful for the interruption. If her son hadn’t returned just then she might have been tempted to kiss Tolin again. Her heart swelled when she was with him. Even though she’d despised him at first, her attraction to him was growing steadily, even though her feelings seemed to waver back and forth. He’d been kind enough to keep Parker out of the dungeon and to devise a punishment that kept her with her son. Life in the castle seemed to have kept Parker out of trouble. Being with Tolin’s dog kept the boy from getting into mischief.

Kit had started to have feelings for Tolin. More than once now he’d kissed her, making her feel as if she could possibly open her heart to love again someday. But after Tolin’s comment about never wanting to marry or get tied down, she realized he was not the man for her.

While Kit was strong and independent, it was only because she had to be. But she was at a point in her life where having a husband and father for her son was the only thing that would keep her from losing her business. She needed to remarry soon in order to keep her entire family from ending up homeless out on the street. Nay, Tolin wasn’t the man she needed. He liked his freedom way too much. In time it would become an addiction to him and that would only lead to her heartbreak, as she’d already seen in her past.

“Parker, help me with the fire and then to prepare the food,” she told her son, glancing quickly over her shoulder to take one last look at Tolin. Sadly, he was gone.