Page 50 of Lord of Misrule

Chapter 13

“Sister, are you really going to Lord Tolin’s solar? Now?” Brenna spoke in a hushed voice so others wouldn’t hear their conversation.

The night’s festivities were over, and the mincemeat pies were served. Kit had purposely eaten one, because it was said one could make a wish on a mincemeat pie at Christmastime and it would be granted. Her wish had been for things to be better between her and Tolin.

Kit’s gingerbread had been one of the highlights. Both the nobles and the commoners complimented her on her baking, making her feel good inside. The musicians had finally stopped playing and all the Christmastide games were finished for the night. The trestle tables in the great hall had been removed and everyone was settling down for the night.

“He wants to see me,” Kit told her sister. Her hands shook as she filled a decanter with red wine. “I saw him leave the great hall earlier so I am sure he has retired for the evening. He will be waiting for me to join him in the solar.”

“Mother, I’m tired,” said Parker, stumbling into the kitchen with his eyes half closed. The boy had been a big help tonight serving the gingerbread and assisting in cleaning up from today’s main meal as well. “Lord Tolin took King back to his solar for the night, so I think I’ll go to bed now.”

“You do that, sweetheart.” She reached over and kissed Parker on the head. “I’ll be there soon.”

Parker left and Brenna spoke to Kit again in not more than a whisper.

“Kit, if Lord Tolin is asking you to come to his solar alone, with wine, and at this time of night, you know there is only one thing he is expecting from you.”

“I know what you think, but I am sure he only wants to talk. To get to know me better, like we did at the hunt.” She picked up a goblet in one hand and the decanter in the other.

“Mmm hmm,” said Brenna, with a knowing look in her eye. “And what if he wants to couple with you? Will you turn him away or give in?”

Kit froze. She was wondering this exact thing and wasn’t sure what she’d do. “Do you think I should bring one goblet or two?” she asked her sister.

“I think you should stop ignoring my question with one of your own,” scolded Brenna. “Tell me, sister, are you interested in Lord Tolin? I mean in a romantic way?”

If her damned body would stop shaking, mayhap she could think about this with a level head.

“I’m...not sure,” she finally answered, releasing a deep calming breath that seemed to do little to push away her anxiety. “All I know is that whenever I am around a handsome man that I am interested in, my body shakes. Just like it is doing now.”

“Did that happen with Crispin too?” asked Brenna, speaking of the man who had sired Parker.

“It did,” she admitted. “And it hasn’t happened since then. That is, until I met Lord Tolin.”

“I guess that is your body’s way of telling you that you truly are attracted to the man.”

Kit put the goblet and decanter down, holding on to the table with one hand, pushing back a stray lock of hair with the other. “Brenna, I admit that I am attracted to the man. I also need to tell you that I have dreamed of—of making love with Tolin.”

Brenna smiled widely and rubbed her large belly. “Be careful, sister. You remember what happened last time you felt this way about a man.” Her eyes shot down to her belly. “You ended up with Parker.”

“Stop it, Brenna. I’m sure nothing is going to happen.” She released a deep breath, feeling a little more in control. She picked up the decanter and goblet once again. “It was a request that I join him, not an order. That means, whatever happens tonight is up to me. I say, we are only talking. I will be sure to thank Lord Tolin for letting us stay here at the castle. For now.”

“I thought you told him that you didn’t want his pity or his charity.”

“I don’t,” she spat. “But I realize now that he only did it because I think he cares for me. And for Parker too.”

“He is a noble, Kit. We are commoners who have nothing at all right now but what he has given.”

“You don’t need to remind me of that, I am quite aware. It bothers me immensely.”

“Even if something does happen between you two tonight, you won’t end up together, you realize. You can’t. You know that. Don’t get your hopes up, because if so you will end up with a broken heart.”

Emotions stirred within Kit making her feel as if none of this was real, nor was the situation fair. She never asked to be a commoner. And she certainly didn’t intend to have feelings for a noble. For a man who could never be anything to her but her lord.

“That is why I told you, nothing is going to happen. Now stop worrying. Go to bed and keep an eye on Parker for me, please.”

“Good luck, Kit,” she heard her sister call out from behind her as she left the kitchen and headed to Lord Tolin’s solar.

Once outside his door, she transferred both items to one hand, raising her fist to knock. That’s when her thoughts turned to fear. What if Brenna was right? What if this man wanted to bed her? In a way that frightened her, but in another way it pleased her immensely. She hadn’t made love with a man in years now. Even after marrying Gerold, the coupling had ended abruptly when she and Gerold realized they weren’t attracted to each other at all. They’d stayed married for her sake and the sake of her son. But sometimes she wished they hadn’t. True, Parker had a stepfather growing up, but honestly Gerold had little to do with the boy and it was only Kit raising him. Just like now.