“Of course.” He nodded eagerly like an excited school boy.
“First of all, no more of this,” I said, gesturing between us.
He looked confused. “Nudity? Day sex?”
I scowled. “No! No more sex in general. No more sex.” I sounded shrill, but I didn’t care. I had to stop having sex with the guy. It had only happened twice and one of those times I couldn’t remember, but I was starting to feel like an addict and Jude was my drug. I couldn’t let myself become addicted to Jude or his penis.
He frowned. “A sexless marriage sounds miserable.”
“For goodness sake, Jude. It won’t be a real marriage. And we’re all making sacrifices here. I’m pretending to want to be married to an oversexed man-boy—”
“And I’m pretending to want to be married to an undersexed shrew. Got it.”
I wanted to be mad, but he the twinkle in his eye made it clear that he was joking.
“You’re so annoying. Putting up with that should be worth at least an extra million.”
He stuck out his hand, “Consider it done.”
“1.1 billion dollars?” I asked as I shook his hand in a no-nonsense manner.
“Yep.”
“I want it in writing.”
“Err... I’d rather my attorney not know.”
“Then find another attorney, Jude.”
“You’re so bossy.”
“I know.”
“I like it,” he said, tugging me towards him. I tried to push away, but his grip was tight.
“What are you doing?” He was still wearing only a robe and I was getting distracted by the skin I could see. Woah, girl. Calm down.
“I thought we could seal the deal with a kiss, you know like in the movies...”
“I’m not sure what type of movies you’ve been watching, but no thank you,” I pushed away from him again and this time he let me go.
I placed my hands on my hips. “If we’re going to do this, then number one is physical stuff and number two...”
“Hold on. No physical stuff at all?”
“Jude, I already said no sex.”
“Okay, got that, but does that mean no blow jobs, hand jobs, heavy petting while watching movies…”
I wanted to punch him. I couldn’t tell if he were being deliberately thick-headed or not. “None of the above.”
“Can I at least watch you shower?”
“Jude!”
“What? I promise to be quiet.”
“That’s so creepy.”