Page 8 of Dark Truth

“Yes, do you want to come in today? You need to talk to the doctor, and we need to reschedule that shot.”

“Uh, yeah, that might be a good idea.” Add in a pregnancy test too I thought.

The world seemed to narrow down to a pinpoint in front of me, and I couldn’t hear anything. Pregnant. I could be pregnant. Dylan was going to lose his mind. The one thing I’d said I’d taken care of, and had, I’d forgotten to continue.

He’d made it clear at the beginning that he wanted me on birth control. We’d discussed it quite openly and without any hesitation. I’d told him it was taken care of and now, it seemed I might have messed that up.

“Can you come in around four, Miss Thompson? We’ll need to update your file too, so maybe come a little earlier.” The woman’s voice broke through the moment of panic, and I stared out at the cars in front of me that still hadn’t moved.

“Sure, yeah.” I shook my head and focused. “I can be there at four.” I was supposed to meet Dylan for dinner later this evening but might have to miss that.

“Great, we’ll see you then. Have a great day!”

I knew the woman at the doctor’s office couldn’t do the panic thing with me. She couldn’t tell me I was stupid and that I might have made the biggest mistake of my life. She couldn’t tell me to just come in right now and get the panic over with. Not that I’d stop panicking if I was pregnant. In fact, I’d be terrified.

How the fuck would I be able to tell Dylan, when were only just getting past his discovery of who I was? Damn, why had I been so stupid? I should have made a note somewhere, or done something, anything, to make sure this wasn’t a worry.

Cars finally moved and I pulled up, ordered the food Michelle and I wanted. I paid the guy at the window, and drove back to the resort, my movements robotic. There was nobody I could call, to tell me to unlock the death grip I had on the steering wheel, or to tell me I could do this all on my own.

I could be pregnant! I wanted to scream it out in my panicked state. I tried to hide it, and Michelle, bless her, tried to pretend she didn’t notice something was wrong. Her face, faintly lined with age, highlighted by two brown eyes framed with brown curl, gazed at me with sympathy, but she didn’t push. We weren’t close like that.

I ate the food mechanically, even though I’d been starving for it less than an hour ago. What would I do if I was pregnant? I stuck a battered onion ring in my mouth and chewed, without tasting it. I had money, that wasn’t a problem. I could take care of a child, support it. What worried me was if I was capable of taking care of a child on my own.

I had a feeling Dylan would freak out, expect the worse from me, and accuse me of trapping him. Like his father did his mother. A cold wash of dread coursed through me, and I stared out of the window of my office. Would he see me as no better than his mother?

It was an accident, a mistake I’d made. I’d forgotten that I’d changed my number and hadn’t told the doctor’s office. I’d meant to call them, to find out when I needed to come in, but the migraines started, and then we moved. Now, I didn’t know what to do.

I didn’t answer the phone when Dylan called me, and I wasn’t really helpful to Michelle after that. I tried to text Dylan, but my brain was mostly blank. I couldn’t tell him that I was terrified, although he was the one person that I should have been able to talk to. He was, in most matters, but this was a situation of truly fucked upon beyond all recognition proportions.

I tapped a nail against my lip and stared down at my phone. He wanted to know if I was good for our dinner plans. It was 3 pm. I needed to get ready to go to the doctor. I stuck my lip between my teeth with my nail. It was a good thing I had gel nails, or I’d have been chewing at the damn thing.

I hurriedly sent a text back, told him I had an appointment at 4, but didn’t elaborate. I ran up to the penthouse, showered, and took the elevator down to the car without looking at my phone. I didn’t want to know what he might have asked. I didn’t want to do this, my mind cried as I drove through the traffic out to the medical office. I didn’t want to fill out the form, as I sat in the doctor’s waiting room. I didn’t want to pretend to be happy and cheerful with the receptionist.

I was imploding inside but tilted my head at the right time and brought out the southern charm as much as the girl at the desk did. I sat and watched some kind of soap opera and tried not to tap my foot while I waited. To be fair, I’d arrived ten minutes early. It was only right that I had to sit there for a few minutes and wait.

I wanted Dylan there, to hold his hand as I explained what had happened in the last few months, and why I hadn’t come back in. Instead, I did it on my own. As I’m sure countless women have also done.

“Well, to be honest with you, Emily, I’d say there’s a possibility that you are pregnant. I’m not sure why you were prescribed Topamax, you’re a sexually active woman and there are clear indications it interferes with your birth control. Add to that, the fact that you missed a dose, and well, I think we need to do a test.”

I wanted to scream no at her, to tell her it wasn’t possible and to just give me a new shot, but I hung my head and meekly agreed. I peed in a cup, and not long later the doctor came back, her face blank.

“The test is positive, Emily.” Her voice was as blank as my stare as the word positive sank through me.

“Positive?” Just like that, my entire world changed. I’d hoped it would be negative and hadn’t let myself think about what the opposite result would mean beyond Dylan’s response. Now, I knew there was a life growing inside of me.

“Yes. We need to discuss your options and where to go from here. If you need some time to think about it, I can reschedule you.”

“That would be great,” I said, but I didn’t really need time to consider the options. I’d keep the baby, it was my baby, something I thought I’d never have. The baby hadn’t been part of my plans, but, well, it was in my belly now.

Dread left me when I thought about it, and I knew then that whatever reaction Dylan had, I’d keep it. I’d have a child of my own, and that made everything different.

I left the office in a stupor of quiet happiness. I was going to have a baby. I couldn’t stop smiling the whole way home. It was after five, so I had time to get ready for our dinner date at seven. I found the penthouse empty, so I changed, put on a loose, thin sweater in a weathered, coppery green color, slid on a flirty black skirt, threw an emerald green scarf around my neck, brushed my hair, grabbed the first pair of black heels that I came to, and left the apartment.

I was scared, terrified, but ready for whatever this dinner might bring. I tapped out a message to Dylan and told him I’d meet him at the restaurant. Surprisingly, he’d gone quiet now. I had to tell him, but was now the right time? I had no idea how far along I was—I must have zoned out when the doctor told me because I couldn't remember—it must be at least two weeks, or the test wouldn’t have worked.

I blew air out through my lips as I pulled into the restaurant’s parking area. I’d tell him, if I could see that the time was right. I just wasn’t sure if there ever was a right time to drop something like that on someone. Sure, we’d agreed to live together, and we were happy together. I have a feeling we’re in this for the long haul, maybe even forever, but would a child change that?

I brushed blond hair out of my face as I walked in through the glass doors and told the waiter I was meeting Dylan. The young man smiled and turned to lead me to Dylan’s table. I didn’t notice anything about the young man, all I could see was Dylan’s smile.