Page 36 of Dancing With Temptation

Lincoln worked with the men during the day, and she worked at the school or outside with the women. They’d share smiles as they passed each other, traded kisses in dark corners of buildings at lunchtime, held hands under the table whenever they ate, and generally acted like teenagers who’d just discovered what it was like to have a crush.

Roxie had never seen Lincoln smile so much. He was a natural frowner, worrying over something at all times. But as the days passed in their peaceful hideaway, the frown disappeared, smoothed into a look of contentment. They both worked hard, saw the evidence of their efforts, and that added to the feeling of contentment she hadn’t expected at all.

There were a lot of things she hadn’t expected, like how nice it was to watch Lincoln, shirt off, working on a roof. It nearly made her growl with pride that he looked so damn good using his body for physical work. She hadn’t been very discreet when she’d growled and Chantou nearly fell down laughing at Roxie’s reaction.

“You’re like a woman that’s been locked away from a man for far too long.” Chantou laughed, but spoke quietly, so as not to further embarrass Roxie. “You growl like tiger, ready to pounce.”

Roxie’s face had gone red, and she glared at the woman when she made a biting motion with her teeth and held up her hands in claws. “You’re a terrible person, Chantou. I can’t help it.”

Chantou’s face fell and Roxie rushed to reassure her that she’d only been joking. “No, don’t stop, I know you’re only teasing. I’m sorry, my friend.”

So she also learned about being gentle with people that didn’t speak English as their first language and came from a different culture. She’d learned so much on this trip and she really should thank Lincoln for inviting her to come along.

“Do you love him?” Chantou asked her now, as they stared at Lincoln and some of the men trekking out into the forest to collect bamboo.

“No!” Roxie protested instantly, her brows furrowed, and her lips pursed. “I don’t do love.”

“I don’t understand, what does this mean? ‘You don’t do love’?” Chantou sat up on the bench, her arms crossed under her breasts. “This makes no sense to me.”

“It means I don’t have time to fall in love. Back home I take care of myself, I work hard, and well, there’s things I don’t talk about. Love just isn’t for me.” She spoke the words, but her own heart and Chantou’s face declared the statements bullshit.

“I see how you look at him, Roxie. You like him.” She nodded to affirm her own thoughts, her frown deepening. “Denying you love him will only hurt you both in the long run, you know?”

“It’s impossible to love him, Chantou. I’ve only been with him a few weeks.” Which brought to life the fact that their contract was almost up. That wasn’t the topic of the moment, however. “Okay, I’ve known him my whole life, more or less, but still. Lincoln is just my…”

“Love?” Chantou did an imitation of Roxie’s own lifted-eyebrow look, her eyes stubbornly declaring Roxie was lying to herself.

“No. I’m crazy about him, okay, I’ll give you that, but it’s not love. It can’t be.”

“I know, I know, you don’t do love. Whatever you say, my friend.” Chantou patted Roxie’s arm and smiled a knowing smile before she looked away. “He doesn’t ‘do’ love either, I guess?”

“No, I don’t think he does.” Roxie ignored the hint of sadness in her voice. “I have to get back to the kids, I’ll talk to you later, Chantou.”

“See you, my friend.” Chantou waved her off but Roxie could still feel her friend’s eyes on her as she walked away.

How could she explain something she didn’t understand herself?

She loved the way Lincoln made her feel. She loved the way he called her Princess Lolita when they were alone, shortening it to Loly when they were in public and he wanted to goad her. She loved how he was generous, kind, and hardworking too. She loved how they laughed together, how they worked together. There were countless things she loved about him, but that didn’t mean she actually loved him, did it?

Roxie’s last day in the village passed quickly, with a dinner in the communal eating area and a goodbye from all the children before she and Lincoln boarded a bus to take them back to a hotel in Phnom Penh. Roxie was sad to leave her new friends behind, but Lincoln had already planned a trip back in the less rainy season. She was quiet as they left the bus and walked into the hotel late that evening.

“You okay, Loly?” He asked, his head bent towards her, their hands clasped as they rode up in the elevator.

“I’m fine, just a little sad, that’s all. I’ll miss them all so much.”

“That’s always the hard part, leaving them all behind. The havoc of the next few days as we head home doesn’t compare to how hard it is to leave the village sometimes.” He brought her hand up to his mouth to kiss it just before the doors opened and they went to their room.

Roxie took a shower, put on a thin nightgown, and sat down in an armchair to stare out at the city below. She’d been so exhausted when she was here last time that she hadn’t truly taken in how huge the city was. Bright lights from buildings and cars lit up the night and the noise reached them, even up here on the third floor. She felt like she’d been dumped into a new world, a world she understood but no longer wanted to live in. It was a struggle not to beg Lincoln to take her back to the village, to leave her there if he absolutely had to go back.

She didn’t realize she was crying until he knelt in front of her and drew her into his arms. She sank into his arms and sobbed in a way she hadn’t done since that first night she’d spent with him when they were both so young and afraid.

He’d been able to go on and live his life, but she’d had to hide who she was, become someone new. She’d become so different from the girl she used to be that she barely recognized that girl anymore. But in that village, she’d almost remembered who she was, almost remembered the hopes and dreams she’d put away so that she could take care of herself. Lincoln held her, making soothing sounds that didn’t demand she speak the pain she felt, and she was grateful for that.

“It’s been hard on you.” He said when the sobs calmed to sniffles. He sat back on his feet and looked up at her. “Not life in the village, but being on your own.”

“Yeah, it has.” She admitted with a watery smile. “That’s why I loved being in the village so much, I think. I didn’t have to pretend to be anything. I didn’t have to work at watching my back, or always be careful not to give away who I am.”

“But you are that person, Rox.” He said it softly, broaching something he knew she didn’t want to.