Page 10 of Dancing With Doubt

“Thanks for coming to see me. I’ve thought about you every second since I saw you at Lincoln’s house. I’ve just been very busy with the conference, and well, now I’m leaving again but I wanted to see you, talk to you. I’ve almost wondered if that meeting was a dream.” June smiled and reached out for Roxie’s hand.

Roxie slid her right hand over to her friend, noticing how small her gold bracelet and the gold and emerald ring on her finger looked. Compared to the jewelry dripping off of June, Roxie’s jewelry looked cheap. She’d never been one to flaunt her wealth, even when she had a rich daddy to buy her everything she wanted. Over the years she’d had very little money to buy more jewelry but the few pieces she owned were nice. But not as nice as June’s.

“Stop comparing yourself to me,” June said softly, for Roxie’s ears only. “You’re still more beautiful than I could ever be, no matter how much jewelry I might decorate myself in. You don’t need it, believe me.”

Roxie smiled ruefully, not surprised that June was still able to pick up on her thoughts. “I shouldn’t do it, I just can’t help it anymore, I guess. I’ve been broke for so long that I forgot what it was like to be anything else.”

“I’d give you every piece I own if I thought it would make you happy, Roxie.” June’s eyes suddenly filled with tears that she quickly blinked away. “I’ve wondered what happened to you for so long, and now I know. I know we’ve gone over it, but I really am so pleased to have you in my life again.”

“I am too,” Roxie said automatically but smiled to let her friend know she meant it. “I’ve got a lot of things I have to deal with at the moment, but I promise, as soon as I’m free, we’ll spend some time together. Or do you have a husband and family to get back to?”

“No, I never married, remember? And no kids, I’ve always been too busy for that.” June dismissed it all with a wave of her hand.

“You’re right, sorry.” Roxie felt her own cheeks turn pink this time. “I don’t know how I forgot that.”

“You said it yourself, you’ve got a lot to deal with at the moment. And I hate to do this, but I’m about to add to it.” June had the grace to look pained over what she’d said.

“What’s up?” Roxie asked and leaned closer, concerned for her friend.

“Nothing major, really, I just…” Her words trailed off and she frowned. “I’m worried about Lincoln and you two seem to be friends at least, so I thought I’d talk to you about it. He’s got a really weird view about relationships and part of that is Mom’s fault, she never could seem to settle.”

“Okay, what’s any of that got to do with me?” Roxie assumed June was leading back to the whole Lincoln meeting up with his dad thing, but June surprised her.

“I just, well, Lincoln really should try to settle down, find a wife and have some babies. He wants a family in the future, he’s even stored his sperm in one of our sperm banks along with some donor eggs he bought for future surrogacy. It’s just, he’s not happy.” June emphasized the last word, making Roxie cringe.

“I’m not sure what you want me to do, June.” She said, not wanting to look at her friend’s face. She’d just ended things with Lincoln, and he hadn’t said a word to her since. How was she supposed to explain that to his sister, and how was she supposed to help him?

“I don’t know, I guess I just thought maybe you could talk to him about it all since he won’t talk to me. All of that trauma with Mom marrying so many men didn’t bother me as much, I saw how she loved my father, even if it didn’t work out. He saw different sides to her than I did since he was born before me. And I saw your parents and how they loved each other, so I know what love is, but I don’t think Lincoln does, and, well, I don’t know. I’m just worried about him, that’s all.” June’s words trailed off and she shrugged helplessly.

“He’ll be okay, even if he doesn’t marry, June. Not all of us want the happily ever after and the wedding bands with holy matrimony. I saw my parents, yours, I know love is real, but I can’t convince someone that marriage is the life for them when I’m avoiding it myself.” Roxie gave her own shrug and looked to her friend for understanding. “Does that make sense to you?”

“I guess so.” June shrugged again, a frown chasing away the normal happy look to her features. “I don’t understand why so many people are against traditional marriage nowadays, and it’s my generation.”

“Because there’s so much more to life than procreation and giving money to banks when you buy a house, silly.” Roxie teased her friend. June smiled and sighed deeply.

“I know, I’m not rushing to get married either, but I’d like my brother to be happy. Both of them, actually.” June said, mentioning Liam by saying brothers.

Roxie let it go, the way she’d let her love for Liam disappear years ago, even if she’d kept that final love note from him. It was something from her past that she hadn’t brought into the present, even if she still took that letter out sometimes, to remember old times and what it was like to be innocent.

“For what it’s worth, I think Lincoln has exactly the life he wants to lead. Something tells me that if he was unhappy, he’d do whatever it’d take to fix that. If he’s not fixing it, he’s not unhappy.” Roxie said, a little sharper than she meant to.

“You said you’d had words, does that mean you argued that day?” June took a sip of her coffee, frowned, and added another spoonful of sugar to the glass mug.

“Kind of.” Roxie didn’t want to admit why they argued, because of June herself, so she didn’t want to talk about it too in-depth. “He made me really angry, and I let him know it. I’m not sure we’ll be speaking to each other again, to be honest.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. You looked so happy before you realized it was me that day, I just assumed you two were together.” June’s face fell into sadness again and Roxie wanted to make it go away.

“You said yourself, Lincoln doesn’t know how to love someone, or what love is, rather.” Roxie corrected herself, wishing she hadn’t added her own thoughts to June’s words. “We were just friends, really.”

“Friends that have had an argument. Well, I hope you two can make up with each other then. I’d like to see you both happy again. Even if it’s not in that kind of way.” June’s smile brushed away the last remnants of sadness and Roxie couldn’t help but smile with her.

“Well, your brother is a pig-headed jerk, so I wouldn’t hold your breath, but you never know.” Roxie felt like a traitor for giving June what she was certain was false hope, but she’d do just about anything to keep that smile on June’s face. Just about anything. Maybe even talk to Lincoln again.

Roxie looked away from June, trying to hide the pain this conversation stabbed into her chest. June had confirmed what Roxie already knew, Lincoln might want a family, kids, but he didn’t want a partner to love. He might just be incapable of it.