Page 27 of Twisted Fate

“Definitely.” He nodded and started to soothe the baby that began to fuss in his arms. “And this little flower is Zinnia, then?”

“I think so.” Keily nodded. “And our baby in the NICU is Zoe then?”

“Sounds delightful to me, Keily. Our first joint decision as parents. Well done us.” The baby started to fuss even louder, and he looked to her for help.

“I don’t know. Hungry maybe?”

The nurse waltzed back into the room and looked at Keily. “I’m not going to give you any grief after what you’ve been through, but you have to decide. Breastfeed or formula? I’d suggest, if you don’t mind, that we at least pump milk for the baby in NICU.”

“Zoe,” Keily replied instantly. “She’s Zoe, my daughter that’s in the NICU.”

The words ‘my daughter’ felt strange but good. She liked saying them.

“I’ll put their names on their charts if you’ve decided?” Joan said, her dark eyebrows arched over her eyes quizzically.

“I have, and if I can breastfeed these two and Zoe, I’d like to,” Keily said with an uncertain look.

“You can try but we need to keep an eye on them. Let me help you.” Joan brought over a pillow that Violet had bought for Keily and put it in her lap. “Put her head here.”

“This one is Zara,” Keily said. “That one is Zinnia.”

“Very nice, okay, let’s put her here, Dad, shall we?” Joan directed Logan as to where Zinnia needed to go and helped Keily until both babies latched on and began to feed with hungry little snorts.

“Are you alright?” Joan asked, waiting for Keily’s questions or concerns.

“It just feels strange, but it’s also a relief. I didn’t realize how sore they were.”

“Is this safe with the medicine she’s been on?” Logan’s concern wouldn’t let him remain quiet.

“Yes, most of the drugs have left her system, and those still running through are alright.” Joan paused to reposition Zoe’s head a little and then stepped back. “Now, don’t be disappointed if it’s hard at first, or you don’t have a huge supply. You have had a major surgery, had to have a blood transfusion, and you’ve been through a lot. Give yourself time and be patient. And don’t be afraid to ask questions.”

“Thanks.” Keily glanced up at Joan, but couldn’t take her eyes off the babies. Her heart grieved for the baby that wasn’t there, but she managed her emotions, by some Herculean effort.

“I’m so proud of you, Keily,” Logan said and sat down to watch her with their babies. “You’ve just, I don’t know, you made my world turn upside down and then you set it right again.”

It was at that moment that she remembered how many times he’d whispered that he loved her. But was that the drugs or had he really said those things? For now, all she could do was take care of her babies and see what happened later. And maybe hope that this would all work out, somehow.

13

Logan

Having children changes the world for you, Logan thought eight weeks after the world turned completely upside down. He’d spent so many days in the hospital with Keily and Zoe, their smallest little girl that he’d come to think of the hospital as his second home. Things were looking up though, and there would be no more daily trips to the hospital because they were bringing Zoe home, at last.

“I’m so happy.” Keily sighed with a smile full of bliss on her face. She’d had that look often since she came home from the hospital, but this time it wasn’t marred by the shadow of worry she’d carried around with her since the day the girls were born.

“I am, too. It’ll be nice to be home with all of our girls.” Logan glanced over to catch Keily’s reaction, but she’d turned her head away to look out of her window of the Bronco. Zinnia and Zara were in the backseat in their car seats, dreaming baby dreams.

All the girls put on weight at a surprising rate, and Zoe had improved quickly over the days. Keily had problems feeding all of the girls at first, but once she’d started the girls on formula to supplement their intake that seemed to work wonders for them all. Zoe had gone from the NICU to a regular room and now they were going to bring her home, at last. Their little family was complete.

Even if, at the back of his mind, he wondered when Keily would tear their family apart and move back to the trailer. She hadn’t mentioned it, seemed content to play house at his house, and he wasn’t about to bring the topic up. If she was happy at his place, then he wouldn’t rock the boat.

They arrived at the hospital and went up to the pediatrics floor. Zoe no longer had tubes and wires connected all over her body and she was looking around, kicking her tiny little feet in the onesie she had on. Her blonde hair and gray eyes matched her sisters’ and her mother’s. They were the spitting image of Keily, and he adored them more for that, perhaps, than if they’d looked even a little bit like him. He adored their mother, so it was only logical he’d adore her three little clones.

Logan picked Zoe up when the nurse said everything was done and asked Keily to sign some papers. He stared down at her, his heart expanding in his chest until he thought it would burst with love. Love was a word he’d long been uncomfortable with but now that his girls were in his life, well, that had changed. He told all three of his babies that he loved them, every chance he got. Which was often since he had started working from home most days.

He’d go into the office if he needed to, and he put things Wally couldn’t handle on hold in California so that he could help out at home. Judith was around a lot, as were Rosa and Violet, but he wanted to be there with his children, so they’d know from day one that they were loved, wanted, and special to him. He didn’t want them to grow up as he’d done, knowing he was nothing but a mistake and a burden.

“She’s so much heavier now,” Logan said to the nurse as he brought Zoe up to his heart and laid her against his chest. Her tiny little head nuzzled at him for a moment before she sighed with contentment. He and Keily both had spent hours with her, skin to skin, learning what it was like to care for a preemie that was only four pounds when she was born.