Page 38 of Not Mine To Love

That question came from Dana, of course. I wrinkled my nose. “Not that I remember, but I’ve never been to a strip club for guys. I’ve only been to the all-male revue in Vegas.”

“How was that?”

“Um ... highly uncomfortable. Just male parts on display. Lots of screaming, desperate women. Kind of gross, oily men. And sweaty backs. Lots of sweaty backs.”

Dana nodded. “Yep that sounds about right.”

Despite my less than stellar review of strip clubs, that evening, we all piled into my car and headed to the strip club. The bouncer gave us a huge smile as we approached.

“How much is it?” I asked, reaching into my purse.

“Aww, you’re customers?” he said with a wry smile. “I was hoping you ladies were here for an interview.”

Dana guffawed, “Trust me. No one wants to see my mom bod. Unless you want people to pay me to keep my clothes on.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her comment and so did the bouncer who let us all in for free.

“Drinks are on me,” he said, winking at Dana. “And for the record,” he gave Dana a wide grin, “I would pay good money to see you with your clothes off.”

Dana blushed and rushed inside. “What a gross but somehow flattering comment,” she said while the rest of us laughed.

The strip club was dark inside. There were tables and booths lining the walls and sprinkled here and there throughout the venue. A bar that led to a stage was the primary focus, and all the tables and booths were situated in the direction of the stage.

A few topless waitresses were making their rounds.

Dana sighed wistfully to herself after our waitress took our orders. We “I remember when my boobs were perky. Three kids and years of breastfeeding later, not so much.”

Piper chimed in, “At least you have kids to blame. I was born with saggy boob-itis.”

I smothered a giggle. Dana and Piper were hilarious.

The place was packed with men, but there were a few couples here and there. There was also a man sitting alone at a table with what seemed to be an emotional support dog. I just shrugged. To each their own. I did wonder what the bouncer had to say about that, though.

I wasn’t a germaphobe, but I was sort of scared to touch the tables. I just didn’t know how often they were cleaned or what was on them. I could only imagine. Gross. I felt strip clubs were for degenerates.

The lights were dimmed even lower, and a woman came out on stage. She had a huge boa around her neck, and she started doing these weird hip dips as she made her way downstage. The crowd started whistling and clapping enthusiastically. I didn’t know what all the hoopla was about. And to be honest, even the dancer seemed bored as she walked from dude to dude gyrating and they stuck money in the waistband of her panties.

I scanned the crowd, not seeing the guy I was supposed to be spying on yet, when a group of raucous young men came in. And just like that, I found my assignment. He was leading the crew. He was already clearly drunk, and he marched right up to the front and started doing a little dance of his own. He then climbed on a bar stool and started wiggling and jiggling.

He was apparently wiggling and jiggling a bit too much because he suddenly lost his balance and fell face forward, hitting his chin on the bar. He hit the floor with a loud thud. At least, I imagined it was a loud thud. The music was too loud to actually hear it. His friends rushed over to help him up, and even the stripper stopped dancing.

She looked down at them with disgust before marching away, not bothering to finish her set. I didn’t blame her. What a jerk.

I remembered then that I was supposed to be getting pictures. It was too bad I hadn’t caught his little dance on camera. It was unfortunate that he was knocked out on the floor; that didn’t make for good photos.

I took some pictures anyway, only half caring. Maybe Leona could use them, maybe she wouldn’t. We would see.

As I placed my camera back in my purse, I noticed one of the friends looking at me curiously. My mouth opened and then closed. Goddammit. It was Julius. He continued to stare at me until he passed by, helping the others drag their friend out.

“Why was that guy eyeing you?” Dana asked.

“Yeah, that was so weird. Stalker alert. Yikes. But he was cute, so maybe he could be a winner,” Piper chimed in.

I shook my head as if trying to clear it. “He’s the guy that I’ve been following around.”

“Hold on, your client’s enemy? The one who’s getting married?”

“Yep.”