Page 21 of Not Because You Loved Me

I took a slow, deliberate step toward the couch, staring down at my mother as realization hit me.

"Mom..." I whispered, my voice trembling, "You spent the afternoon at Kat's house before I found that test in her bathroom."

Mom froze. She squeezed her eyes shut, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks, and buried her face in her hands.

"Say it, Mom," I rasped, my chest heaving, the blood roaring in my ears so loud I could barely hear myself. "Say it!"

"It was mine!" She sobbed out the confession, "The test in Kat's trash... it was mine!"

Gideon gasped behind me. My entire world shattered into a million jagged pieces. The floor felt as if it were tilting beneath my feet.

"Yours," I repeated, the word tasting like ashes. "You... you took a pregnancy test in my girlfriend's bathroom?"

"I was scared!" Mom cried, looking up at me with raw, desperate eyes. "I was having symptoms for weeks, but my doctor kept telling me it was just probably early perimenopause! Like being in your forties explains every symptom somehow. I was at Kat's house, I felt so sick, and I took the opportunity, just to rule it out... and it turned positive immediately."

"Why didn't you tell Dad?!" I roared, the rage finally snapping restraint.

"Because he had a vasectomy!" Mom wept. "I was confused, I was worried about what he would think... I don't know what I thought! I panicked and hid the test at the bottom of the trash because I wanted to go get a real blood test from my doctor before I talked to him!"

"Cyn," Dad whispered softly, wrapping his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. "When has anything in our lives ever gone according to plan? And look how incredible it all turned out."

"Turned out?!" I huffed, throwing my hands in the air, my voice cracking with absolute agony. "Oh yeah, Dad! It turned out fucking great! You want to know how great it turned out?!"

I turned on my mother, tears of fury burning my eyes.

"I found that test, Mom! I thought it was Kat's! I spent three months living a lie, planning a nursery, proposing to the woman I love for all the wrong reasons, and completely destroying her trust in me! You let me go on believing it was hers! YOU KNEW… You watched me talk about the future, and said nothing!"

"I thought you would talk to her!" Mom pleaded, reaching out for me with shaking hands. "I thought... I thought you two had talked and decided to keep it private! And then... God forgive me, Trent, I was so scared, and in my own head. I saw how much you loved her, and I thought... I thought stepping up worked for your father and me when we were young. I thought maybe it would force you out of your head so you'd see what was right in front of you!"

"You ruined my life!" I slammed my fist into the wooden side table, sending a lamp rattling. "You let me blow up my entire relationship because you were too cowardly to tell your husband you were pregnant!"

"Trent! That is enough!" Dad roared, leaping to his feet and stepping directly between me and my mother. "You do not talk to your mother like that. She made a mistake. A massive, terrible mistake, and she is going to have to live with the guilt of what it did to you. But right now, she is carrying a baby. Her blood pressure is dangerously high, and if you stress her out any further, you are going to put both of them in the hospital!"

I stood there, panting, my fists clenched so tight that my nails were biting into my palms.

"We are a family," Dad continued, his voice dropping into a non-negotiable command. "Prescotts step up. We pull through. I need you and Gideon to take over for me for the next few weeks so I can take care of your mother. Do you understand me?"

I looked at my mother, who was hyperventilating into a tissue. I looked at my dad, whose eyes were begging me to stand down. I was furious, heartbroken, and felt as if I were suffocating.

Without saying another word, I turned on my heel and walked out of the house.

"Trent! Wait!" Gideon called after me, but I ignored him, shoving through the front door and slamming it shut behind me.

I threw myself into my truck, turned the key, and tore out of the driveway.

I drove aimlessly into the freezing dusk; the highway blurring past my window. My head was spinning so fast I felt sick. The truth was out; my baby wasn't real, and a crazy lie was exposed. I always thought our family was tight, that we had each other's backs… When did everything go so wrong? How had a lack of communication landed us here?

I was supposed to go straight back to Kat's house. I was supposed to drop to my knees, explain the cosmic, ridiculous stupidity of what had happened, and beg her not to leave me.

But as I pulled over into an empty gas station lot and rested my forehead against the steering wheel, the sheer weight of it all crushed me.

How could I go to her now? What could I possibly say? 'Hey Kat, turns out I'm not the father, my dad is, and my mom hid her test in your trash.' It sounded insane. Pathetic.

I needed time. I needed an hour, just to get my head straight, to process the anger burning a hole in my gut, before I faced her. I closed my eyes, lost in the darkness of my mind, completely unaware of how fast the clock was ticking.

CHAPTER 13

Katerina