Page 151 of Healing Eleanor

I lean back to look at him. “What?”

“You heard me.” His hand tightens on my lower back. “Put your feet on top of mine. You can’t slow dance in a boot.” His breath brushes my neck, sending goosebumps racing down my arms.

Heat rushes to my face, and I’m grateful he can’t see it. “Oh… alright.” Carefully, I step onto his feet. “Tell me if I’m too heavy,” I murmur, anxiety prickling at the edges.

His grip firms. “You won’t break me. You’re the furthest thing from heavy, and you know it.” His breath warms my skin, lingering.

Bit by bit, the anxiety ebbs. I let my head rest against his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart. “Okay,” I whisper.

Nik sways us gently, the studio hushed except for snow and wind brushing against the window.

With my head resting against his chest, he lays his chin atop my head and sighs. “Why are you here, Eleanor?” he breathes into my hair.

Is this a trap? “I wanted to be here for you,” I explain. After a few quiet beats I add, “You’ve been there for me through my worst—well, except for the ankle.” The memory pinches my heart. “I just… wanted you to know I’m here for you too, and—” I want to say I love him, but the words feel wrong at the moment. I don’t want him to think I’m saying it because he’s hurting. When I tell him, I want him to know I mean it.

“And?” he mutters.

I swallow. “And because I’m getting help. I’m seeing Evelyn, actually. I’m taking it seriously… and I want to give back what you’ve given me.”

He leans back, tilting my chin up. “You’re seeing Evelyn?”

I nod. “I am.”

A flash of emotion crosses his face. A mix of relief and something heavier he doesn’t voice. “I’m happy for you,” he says at last, and I know he means it, even if he’s holding something back.

We stay that way, swaying in silence, eyes locked. And then, like a tidal wave, love crashes over me, flooding every vein. The way he looks at me—steady, unreadable, but so achingly close—makes me want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything.

Before I can stop myself, I lean in and press my mouth to his, pouring everything I feel for him into the kiss. The need, the longing, the desperation.

But his lips stay soft, still, and unmoving beneath mine.

The realization pours over me like ice water. I stumble back, heat scorching my cheeks. “I—I’m sorry.” My chest heaves. Crap. What did I just do?

Nik doesn’t move. His eyes search mine, pained, stunned. “Eleanor—”

“I want to go home.” The words tumble out sharp and broken. I grab my purse, fumbling for my phone, hands shaking. “I—I’ll call a cab.”

“Eleanor, stop—” Nik reaches for my hand, but I twist away, eyes darting as I search for my phone.

I dig into the purse pockets, breathing shallowly, until my fingers close around the smooth rectangle. Relief surges through me until Nik’s hand closes gently over mine and eases the phone from my grasp.

“Can you just stop for five minutes?” His voice carries that impossible mix of gentleness and aggravation.

I lunge for the phone. “Can I have that back, please?”

He lifts it out of reach, his jaw tense. “Not until you talk to me about what just happened.” A guarded expression washes over him as he struggles to catch his breath.

I huff, trying to swallow the panic clawing up my throat. “I’d rather not.” I bite back the tremor in my voice.

His lips press into a thin line. “Then you’re not getting this back.” He slides my phone into the pocket of his sweats with finality, his eyes never leaving mine.

I ball my hands into fists. “What do you want me to say?” I hiss, desperate to get away from here, to run until I never have to face this moment again.

He didn’t kiss me back. That is enough of an answer. Whatever chance I had with him snapped right alongside my achilles a month ago.

His brows pinch. “I want you to tell me what that was.” He waves a hand toward the empty space we just abandoned. Where I was foolish enough to press my lips to his.

I drag a trembling hand down my face and leave it there, as if it will shield me from him. “It was a kiss, Nik. A stupid, reckless mistake. It won’t happen again, I promise.” My words are sharp, but the tears stinging my eyes betray me.