Page 162 of Healing Eleanor

“I regret not listening when you shared your faith. I see now what a gift it is, how healing it is.” She clears her throat. “I believe now. I mean… in God. I believe in God now. This is my first time at a church, and I didn’t even mean to come here…” Her words tumble over each other, almost a ramble.

Color blooms across her cheekbones. “Sorry. Um…” She shifts on her feet. “I also regret continuing to dance when I should’ve stopped to take care of myself.” Her gaze doesn’t waver from mine. “So that’s why I’m done. I’m not dancing anymore.” She gives a small shrug. “I broke the contract with Kasper a few days ago and signed up for college classes. I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, but I wanted to start somewhere.”

I inhale deeply, every fiber in me fighting the urge to close the distance between us, to kiss her like I want to.

“But there’s one thing I regret most of all,” she whispers.

My heart gallops against my ribs like a thoroughbred set loose.

“I regret not telling you I loved you when I had the chance.” The moment stretches, neither of us looking away. “Because I do. I love you, Nik.” She looks down shyly, then peeks back up at me through her lashes. “I only hope now that you still feel the same… and that you can forgive me.” Her voice breaks, and I can’t take it anymore.

I push off the wall, cup her face in my hands, and claim her lips as mine. She freezes for a moment, stunned, but then she grips my forearms and kisses me back with equal force.

The first kiss is all the pent-up longing and ache of missing each other.

The second is everything we never said.

And the third is a promise, that whatever comes next, love will carry us through it.

I pull away reluctantly, not wanting to fuel desires we can’t give into. Resting my forehead against hers, I take her cold hands in mine and squeeze them between us. “Don’t think for one second that I’ve stopped loving you, Eleanor,” I whisper.

A sob breaks from her chest. “Then why didn’t you come?”

I lean back just enough to see her eyes, though I keep her close. “I’m so sorry, baby,” I breathe into the cold. “After you fell, Kasper threatened to fire me if I contacted you.” I hang my head, the memory still bitter. “But I was also terrified of letting my heart be broken by you. I knew it would be the worst pain I’d ever feel.”

My thumb brushes a tear from her cheek. “And then my mom died. I was drowning in grief. I couldn’t find the air, let alone the strength to reach for you.” I press a lingering kiss to her forehead. “I should’ve come for you anyway. And I hope… I hope you can forgive me for that too.”

She pulls me close, arms winding around me as she rests her head against my chest.

I close my eyes and hold her tighter, breathing her in, reveling in the feel of her against me.

“It won’t happen again, will it?” she mumbles into my shirt.

My arms tighten around her. “I won’t leave you, Eleanor. As long as we both want this, I’ll be here—through anything.” And I mean every word.

She tilts her head up, honey-brown eyes searching mine. “What… is this?”

I can’t stop the smile tugging at my mouth. “Are we in high school now, Elenochka?” I tease.

A subtle rosy hue creeps back into her skin. “No—I just—” She stumbles over her words, flustered.

I chuckle softly. “Relax. I’m only messing with you.”

She groans and playfully swats my chest. “Is this where you start being mean to me just because you like me?”

I frame her face in my hands, brushing my thumbs gently over her skin. My voice drops, low and certain. “Am I not allowed to tease my girlfriend?”

Before she can answer, I kiss her again. This time slower, softer, savoring the warmth of her lips against mine, sealing the promise we’ve just made.

When I pull away, her eyes are still closed. “Where do we go from here?” she whispers, opening them slowly.

I draw a steady breath, keeping her close. “We take it day by day. You’re still healing—and doing a great job by the looks of it.”

Her eyes widen, a faint blush dusting her cheeks again, and I can’t suppress the smirk tugging at my lips.

“And I’m still trying to grieve,” I admit.

“I’m so sorry, Nik,” she murmurs, tucking her head against my chest.