Page 43 of Healing Eleanor

Lily slaps her hands against the table, rattling a few glasses. “That’s what I’m saying!”

My breath catches in my chest. “Wh—what are you going on about? Did you not hear what I just said?”

Evelyn shushes Grace and Lily before turning to me. “Well, Nik, you know what they say…” she trails off.

I gape at her, completely confused. “Who says what?”

“About people who remind us of our loved ones who have passed.” She folds her hands together. “When they appear, it could be because God knows our hearts are finally strong enough to remember without falling apart, and that maybe it’s a reminder that love doesn’t end just because a life does.”

“She’s right, Nikusha,” Mama pipes up.

I whip my head toward her. “I do not love her—I’ve literally said two words to this girl, and that’s it.”

Mama shakes her head. “We’re not saying you love her. It just seems to me like God sent this girl directly into your path. For what reason, I’m not sure—that is for you to figure out.”

If there’s one thing I can always count on, it’s that Mama doesn’t speak unless her words matter. Nothing is said flippantly. She never lies, and she gives us kids the hard truths when we need them. So if she’s saying that God might have His hand in this… she means it.

I rub my hands over my face, ready for this conversation to end. “Well, I haven’t prayed for love, so please don’t get your hopes up.”

Evelyn scoffs lightly. “Well first, God doesn’t always give us what we pray for. He gives us what we need.” She takes a sip of water. “And second, we’re not saying you should love her. But who knows, God may think you need a woman, and boy does He work in mysterious ways.”

Well, I sure hope He doesn’t.

Mama reaches for my hand and folds it into hers. “All we’re saying is to not ignore His voice, Synulya.” She pats my hand gently. “Regardless of whether this girl is set in your path or not, I will pray for whatever God has in store—for both of you.”

“I second that,” Lily says, raising her hand.

“Ooo, I’m third,” Grace adds with a knowing grin.

“Shoot, make me fourth,” Austin chimes in, shoveling another bite of lasagna into his mouth.

“And you already know I’m fifth, darling,” Evelyn says, beaming. She turns to Richard expectantly.

With a sigh, he gives in. “I always pray for you, Nik. That won’t change now.”

Evelyn raises a brow.

“Okay, okay—fine. I’m sixth. Happy, Evelyn?” Richard mutters as he rises from his chair, gathering plates and shaking his head. “You women are crazy, I swear.”

As Richard heads toward the kitchen, Evelyn giggles in his direction before turning back to me. “In all seriousness, Nik,” she says gently, “we’re not saying you should pursue this girl—we know you can’t—but we are saying to pay attention to the people God places in your life. It’s not everyday that we get glimpses of our loved ones who are no longer here.”

I slouch back in my chair, lacing my hands behind my head with a sigh. “Well, I appreciate that. I’ll need all the prayers I can get since you all seem convinced God is placing this girl in my path for love… or something else.”

The table erupts into laughter at that, the conversation quickly veering into my nonexistent love life. And, truthfully, I like it that way. The only person I have to worry about is myself. Not only would dating a girl like Eleanor be extremely frowned upon, but I don’t think what Evelyn said is true. My heart wouldn’t be strong enough to relive that kind of hurt.

Anyway, it feels unfair to drag someone else into my life. Things might seem simple on the surface, but my past complicates everything. No girl will willingly step into something like that, and I don’t want to be the one to ask her to.

There’s something in Eleanor’s eyes—something hauntingly familiar. The same fragile brightness Daria carried near the end. Not when she was already broken, but right before. When she still looked alive.

I can’t survive losing something like that twice. That kind of pain doesn’t fade with time, it settles in and becomes a permanent weight. And I’m not strong enough to carry it again.

After dinner, we launch into a chaotic game of Life. I forgot how competitive Grace and Lily are, even in games where there isn’t a clear winner. Technically, whoever ends up with the most money wins, but everyone makes choices based on what they want to do, not what’s strategic.

Still, when I come out ahead in the end, I’m pretty sure Lily’s going to flip the table. I almost remind her she doesn’t need six children, but I bite my tongue and just chuckle quietly to myself.

One look at Mama, and I know it’s time to go. We say our thank you’s and goodbyes, stepping out into the cool evening air. The porch light casts a warm glow over the trimmed bushes and flowerbeds, creating long shadows that stretch across the sidewalk.

I open the passenger door for Mama and shut it gently once she’s inside. My Volvo purrs to life, headlights flickering on as I back out of the driveway. We drive through the quiet, tree-lined streets in a comfortable silence.