Page 63 of Healing Eleanor

“There. Good,” he says, stepping back. “Now try it without me.”

I move through the combination again, and this time, it clicks. The motion is effortless. Smooth, but still refined. A smile tugs at my lips.

Nik claps behind me. “See? I knew you had it in you.”

I turn to find his smile beaming down at me. For a second, I want to hug him. Something entirely unlike me. But, like a splash of cold water, I’m reminded that he’s my coach and how that would be wildly inappropriate.

Instead, I offer a faint smile. “Thanks to you.”

“Like I said this morning, you dance better when your brain’s turned off.” He winks, then turns and heads back to the front of the studio, just as the others trickle in from break.

“Ohmygosh, what was that about?” Lily half-walks, half-runs toward me, whisper-shouting like she’s unable to hold it in another second.

“I just needed some help with my rond de jambe à terre,” I respond with a shrug. “No big deal.”

Though, it is, in fact, a big deal. I just can’t tell her that because then the entire class will know. Honestly, I don’t even know what just happened.

“No big deal? Are you kidding? That was a big deal. Nik doesn’t just call for random breaks. Spill. Now.” She crosses her arms over her chest, tapping her foot like a drill sergeant.

I chance a look away from her and sure enough, Nik is watching us again, eyes darting between me and Lily. “I—I can’t right now,” I say, my voice low.

Lily scoffs. “Please, you’re not getting off the hook that easily.”

Nik calls a one-minute time warning as she continues. “I was going to wait until after class, but I have to know now. My sister Grace is cheering at the football game tonight. Her best friend Austin is playing, and I was going to ask if you wanted to come? Dillon and Gabriel are in. Nik can’t because he has to be with Irina tonight. So? What do you say?”

“Let’s begin,” Nik announces to the class.

Without thinking, I nod and whisper, “Sure,” in her direction.

Lily squeals and does a little happy dance in place.

“Lily, it’s time to focus,” Nik says, clearly trying to rein her in.

She gives him a mock salute. “Sir, yes sir.”

Nik just rolls his eyes, though I see the corners of his mouth twitch. Honestly, I don’t blame him. It’s probably impossible to stay mad at Lily.

“Let’s begin,” Nik says, stepping forward to demonstrate the next combination.

The rest of class moves along smoothly, without a single correction from him. He doesn’t look my way again, but I can’t stop thinking about the feel of his hands on my body, steady and certain, like they belong there.

The chill from the bleachers seeps deep into my bones. The stadium lights are blinding, and the noise from the crowd presses in from every direction. I try to wrap more of my sweater around myself, but it does little to keep the cold at bay.

After rehearsals, Lily gave me a full run-down on what to wear. She said something cute. I should’ve known better.

Now I’m stuck in an olive-green t-shirt dress and a flimsy gray cardigan, shivering while everyone else seems perfectly fine in jeans and t-shirts. Lily, of course, looks completely at home. Her crimson skirt swishes as she moves, her cheer shirt shouts school spirit, and her auburn waves bounce around glitter-dusted cheeks. She is the embodiment of Pembroke High School pride.

The game hasn’t even started yet, and I’m already regretting saying yes. I feel completely out of place, surrounded by a swarm of loud, crude teenagers. I’ve been bumped into at least ten times, and no one seems to notice or care.

Next to me, Dillon’s trying to explain football. I lose track about two minutes in. I just nod along every now and then to make it seem like I’m following.

In high school, I never went to games like this. I was always too focused on ballet. Mom would have me come straight home and run combinations until my feet were sore and bleeding. Back then, I thought giving up nights like these was the right thing to do. That somehow, it was how I’d earn my future.

But sitting here now, hearing the excitement of the crowd, smelling the food, feeling the chill in the air… I almost understand the appeal. I almost see how this kind of night could be fun.

Lily and Gabriel wander off to grab food, apparently a must at football games. Thankfully, Gabriel seems to be in a better mood than earlier, and Lily hasn’t let his comments bother her for more than a minute. I envy that about her. She doesn’t let anything stick. She just lets it roll right off, like water.

“Wowza, that line was long,” Lily wheezes as she climbs the bleachers, balancing a precarious tower of popcorn, cheesy nachos, and a massive fizzy drink. Gabriel follows close behind, balancing his own stack of food.