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“You could stop being such a hag at every single family gathering,” I suggested.
She lifted her head to glare at me.
“Too soon?” I asked. She nodded.
“Well, we could stop sniping at each other and focus our anger where it belongs,” I said.
“Mama?” Jenny asked. I nodded.
“It won’t be like this forever,” Jenny promised, placing a tentative hand on my shoulder.
“Yeah.” I sniffled. “Someday Grandma Ruthie will be locked safely away in a home for the elderly/criminally insane.”
“Jane!”
I brightened. “Can I pick the home?”
“Jane!”
“That wasn’t a no.”
“This has been good,” Jenny said, laughing. “I feel … lighter somehow.”
“It’s amazing what a little foam battering can do,” I said, nodding.
“Well, it’s a good thing we stopped where we did, ’cause I was this close to kicking your ass.”
I nodded to the mutilated grass behind us. “We can always jump back into the mud pit and settle things once and for all.”
“This is one of those things where I’m just going to assume you’re joking.”
I sniffed, wincing at the sting in my lip as it healed. “Probably for the best.”
Jenny watched as my skin closed and the bruising faded away. “That is really cool.”
“Just one of the perks,” I said, grinning as I pulled her to her feet.
Head Courtney came running over to the foam and mud wreckage. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Just settling some family issues.” Jenny chuckled, wiping a spot of blood from her nose.
“I cannot believe you two! This is a children’s carnival! You’re ruining everything. Do you realize what you’re going to have to do to work off this many demerits? Never in the history of the Chamber of Commerce—”
Zeb came running up, frantic. “Jane! Jane! We’ve got to go! Jolene’s mom just called. She’s in labor!”
Head Courtney seemed supremely annoyed at the interruption, but her laser-beam gaze did not falter from its target. My head.
“Zeb, it’s not a big deal. You don’t really have to fake Jolene being in labor.”
“I’m not faking!” he screamed, his voice reaching an alarming soprano octave.
Turning my back on Courtney, I forced Zeb to bend over and take some deep breaths. “Zeb, calm down. Do you have the bag?”
“Yes, it’s in the car. Jolene packed in June. She wouldn’t let me help.”
I reached to pat his shoulder, but when I saw how muddy my hands were, I pulled away. “I think we can all agree that was a wise choice. How about I drive to the hospital?”
“No, no, I can handle it,” he said, showing me what he thought was a set of keys.
