Page 84 of Redline Communion

Good.

“Stop deciding that.” My voice shakes, but I don’t care. “Stop deciding what I’m ready for. Stop deciding what I know, where I go, who I want, and what my body means on whatever fucking chart you people keep updating while I’m asleep.”

Carmen says my name.

I look at her.

She appears devastated, and I cannot afford to find out why.

Not tonight.

“I’m leaving.”

Alistair’s expression hardens.

“No.”

There it is.

The real word beneath all the careful ones.

I turn toward the hall, and Ash is standing there.

I don’t know when he arrived, but his face takes in the table, the spilled folder, me, and Alistair in one sweep, every protective instinct in him visibly waking.

For once, I don’t want it.

“Ash.”

He looks at me.

“Don’t.”

The word catches him mid-step.

I point toward the front door. “I’m leaving. You are not coming.”

His jaw locks, and for one terrible second I know everything he wants to say: it isn’t safe, don’t go alone, not after this.

I watch him swallow all of it.

“Okay.”

One word, with no argument, no condition, no demand that I call when I get wherever I’m going.

He steps aside.

I walk past him.

At the front door, my hands shake too hard to work the lock. Ash reaches past me, then stops before touching it.

He looks at me.

I nod.

Only then does he open the door.

The night air hits my face, and I keep walking.