Page 17 of How to Woo a Highlander

She wondered if he did not realize how intimate it was, allowing her to watch him get ready. She knew they were to be married, so it did not matter much, but he was way too unaffected.

"Could ye please hand me me coat, tis right over there?" he said, pointing at the bed. Jane did as he asked, and he took it from her with mumbled thanks and finished dressing.

"Alright, I'm done." he took her hands in his, "I ken that I have put off announcin' our engagement. I think it is time we announced it, aye?"

She blinked, not able to speak as he took her arm and began to walk to the door. She could not help but feel rushed as though he was only talking to her in what little spare time he had and doing his best to keep her happy.

"We can dae it when I return, is that alright?" he asked as they stepped into the hall. She nodded her agreement, and he beamed at her, taking her hands and kissing her knuckles.

"That's wonderful, I will see ye when I return," and with that he was gone, walking briskly down the hall and leaving her staring after him, her emotions in a mess.

She knew that she had told her father not to worry as they would soon announce their engagement, but was she ready for it to happen? She went back to her room, deep in thought.

She realized she did not want Alastair to know she was betrothed to William. There was nothing between them, but if Alastair found out she was to marry William, there would be no chance for anything. It felt strange how pressured she suddenly felt.

I need to distract myself.

Jane was hit with a sudden flash of homesickness. She had been withdrawn from the children her age as a child, and often had to find her own fun to quell her restlessness. At first, that fun had been sneaking into her father’s office; then it was the lessons he gave her on how to use a weapon after he caught her playing with a short sword she found in his desk. Her antics had amused him, and whenever he was home, he took the time to teach her how to use it.

She had no mother, and her father had no idea how to raise a girl, so he spent his time with her doing the only thing he knew how to, and that was to fight. It was not until she was ten years old, and Mary was invited to live with them as an in-house governess, that her father stopped teaching her.

He left her with the short sword, so she continued to train with it for a while, but it was not the same without her father teaching her. She became restless again soon after. It was no longer fun to sneak into the study since her father left his doors open for her, and Mary was not averse to her reading even though she read all sorts of books, including those better suited to men. Before long, she began to look for new forms of excitement, and that was when she had found the perfect distraction.

Once, she had snuck out to the stables and happened upon the guard’s gambling. She had immediately been intrigued, watching them play, cheering for a win, and moaning for a loss.

Initially, she’d been hoping to coerce them into sparring with her since Mary did not let her, but she became more interested in gambling instead. She had been caught by Mary not long after and was chided, being told how irresponsible it was to gamble and how no Lady would do such a thing.

Stubborn as she was that did nothing to stop her interest. She snuck out when she could to watch them, and also made sure to ask Adam, one of the guards, about it every chance she got. He was embarrassed by her questions at first and hesitant to tell her, but after a while found that she was genuinely interested and did not judge his actions, so he was more open to teaching her.

She would sneak out to learn from him and improved as she got older. Adam was a stellar guard and an even better man, but his flaw was the fact that he was a gambler. It was not something he was proud of, but he could not stop it either. Most of the time, he could not tell whether he should be ashamed of her progress under his tutelage or proud.

When she was sixteen, however, Mary once again foiled her fun, threatening to report Adam to her her father the moment she discovered it. Of course, Jane did not want to put Adam’s job at risk and stopped gambling with him. After she stopped, she realized that it had been a form of release for her, even though she never bet any money and only played to win or lose for fun or stood on the sidelines watching the men play.

The months passed, and she managed her boredom, trying to distract herself by reading and improving her knowledge. However, it began to feel like a chore, and she began to feel more and more stifled. At the end of her patience, she one day took a daring risk, bribing a stable boy for a clean outfit. She had taken the clothes for two weeks before she finally summoned up the courage to use them. She made her way through the town that evening dressed as a man, her heart thudding in her chest.

She had taken her short sword with her as a precaution, worried that she might be attacked, or worse, discovered by ruffians in the street. The short sword gave her some form of security, and she survived the evening with a hand secretly on the hilt in her cloak, walking in the shadows.

It was the most exciting thing she had ever done, and it soon became her favorite thing to do. She got braver and braver with each outing she made, going farther away from the manor and interacting with people more. Before long, she found the gambling spots and made herself familiar with the way things were done. Never one to sit on the sidelines for long, she soon started to play.

She stayed wise and never bet too much money nor won too much either. This way, she was able to stay unnoticed. She always left quickly after each win because the men that played were not always noble, and she had seen them stab men for less, so she became very good at running away despite having a short sword of her own.

The athleticism she had developed in the four years she spent stealing in and out of her room every other night could have rivaled many sportsmen. She only reduced her outings after she turned twenty, and more attention was put on her while her father tried to find a suitable husband for her.

A wistful smile lifted her lips. She had burnt the stable boy’s clothes when she left home, not wanting to attempt returning them, nor leaving them in her old room. If anyone found out, she would be facing unnecessary misunderstandings. She had burnt it, choosing to stop her habit now that she was to be married and needed to be more responsible, but she had brought her short sword. Now, with all the emotions, swilling around, she began to wish she had brought the disguise with her.

Would she have been able to use it in the Highlands anyway? The purpose of the disguise was to be as inconspicuous as possible. An English stable boy showing up to gamble would be anything but inconspicuous, especially since the Highlanders did not seem to be on the best of terms with the English. It would most likely end up backfiring on her. She worried her lip as she thought of a daring idea.

Jane, don’t do this. You don’t have the luxury of stirring up trouble here.

Her thoughts were judging her, but she could not help but consider it. In England, she had borrowed a stable boy’s clothes. What was stopping her from doing the same thing here? The people were not all friendly with the English, and the stable boy might betray her, but it wasn’t impossible to attempt bribing him for his clothes. She tapped her chin in thought. If she got clothes from the stable boy, would she be able to speak like a Scot?

She rolled onto her face and groaned into the pillows. She could imagine the accent perfectly in her head, so it shouldn’t be too hard to copy.

Unable to lay there and deliberate any longer, Jane sat up with determination and made her way to her desk, rummaging in its compartments until she found the patch that contained silver.

Is fifty silver going to be enough? No, a hundred will be fine

She readied the money and made her way down to the stables, avoiding being seen while keeping a normal expression in case she was spotted.