Page 39 of Sinful Abandon

We make another rotation, and I turn around to see the Chicago skyline. The Willis Tower, the second tallest building in the US, glistens as the sun sets, casting a faint orange on the blue of the windy city. The orange turns to shades of purple, and the night sky is illuminated by the city lights, creating a scene so majestic that my heart skips a beat.

It takes me until the third trip to realize I’m being watched. So enamored by the beauty of the night and lights, I’m surprised to see Ryan enamored, not by the view, but by me. The smile on his face and the twinkle in his eye make the third rotation more stunning than the first two.

The ride ends, and we stroll through the pier, walking hand in hand so as not to lose each other in the crowd. When we hear music pouring out from the Landshark Beer Garden, Ryan tugs on my hand, and together, we dance.

We dance like fools, and our laughter is contagious.

We dance like lovers, and our movements are empowered.

We dance like two rivers flowing into one another.

Walking and talking, we explore the pier, passing boat rentals and more restaurants. We pass vendors and the hall that’s made to resemble Atlantic City.

He guides me to the carousel, and I choose a golden horse with its head held high in the air and a blue saddle. It’s the first time I’ve ever been on a carousel, and I adore it. Love it. Will cherish it forever.

As we exit the pier, he guides me away from the parking lot and up to Michigan Avenue.

“This is my favorite street in the whole city,” I say, looking up at Nordstrom.

“Fancy shops for a fancy girl.”

“Yes, and no,” I say. “Okay, mostly yes, but it’s also so beautiful with the way it lights up at night. It’s so clean and welcoming. They don’t call it the Magnificent Mile for nothing.”

“No, they don’t.” He stops at the sight of a homeless man sitting on the sidewalk, his body huddled, despite the warm summer evening. Ryan looks into his wallet and takes out some change, his eighty dollars already spent on our evening. Walking over to the man, he places the small change in the cup and walks away.

I reach into my bag and take out a twenty, offering it to the man. I walk up to Ryan before he sees what I did.

“I’ve seen you do that before—give money to the homeless. Why?” I ask when we are side by side.

“Just trying to do the right thing.” His similar words from the first night we met echo in my head.

“You’re all right, Ryan Pierson.” I smile at him.

He offers me a raised brow in return. “Just all right?”

I push him in the arm. “Maybe a little more than all right.”

We walk in silence for a bit.

Something is lingering under my skin. A bad memory. Unfinished business. I bite my lip and furrow my brow. “I tried to find him.”

Ryan stops walking and listens to what I have to say.

“My dad. I hired a private investigator, but he didn’t show up. I’ve been battling my emotions about it. I wanted to make sure he was okay, but I also didn’t want him back in my life. When he vanished into thin air, I was relieved. And sad. I’m still trying to decide how I feel.”

“You’re a good daughter.”

“Am I?”

“Yes. You supported him when your only worry should have been where to hide while playing Manhunt or who the cutest boy was in school. Your heart is so big, but you squeeze it tight in your hands. Every once in a while, you open those palms, and the beauty inside shows so bright, I’m blinded.”

His words are powerful, provocative, and they scare the hell out of me.

We continue to walk down Michigan Avenue to the entrance of Oak Street Beach. We take our shoes off and bury our feet in the cold sand. It’s so odd to me to be on a beach with the city just across the street, skyscrapers looming over where people play volleyball and sun in their bikinis.

It’s dark on the beach, but the lights of the nearby roadway give us enough to see in front of us. The soft waves of the lake are singing in the background.

“Who is Maxine?” I ask. I’ve been wanting to know more about the girl who broke Ryan’s heart since his family spoke of her.