Page 53 of Tanner

He doesn’t even look at the girl I’m pointing to. Instead, he leans in, so close that his lips tickle my ear as he whispers, “I’m more into the sexy woman type. The kind who lets me paint her body and lets out the sweetest fucking sounds when she comes.”

Heat rises up my face as my heart pounds, and my breath hitches.

“What do you want me to paint you with tonight?”

“Nothing.”

“What do you want?”

“To not feel like I’m totally out of place.”

He slightly pulls back and furrows his brow. “You aren’t. Believe me.”

I take the final sip of my wine. Wine. Who orders wine at a college bar? The glass in front of me is like a neon sign for all to see. Thirty-year-old right over here! I never thought a simple order would make me feel old, but seeing my wine next to their beers and Willa’s Midori sour makes me feel ancient.

Ryan says something to Tanner, and the two start talking. I take in a breath, sinking into the booth as I slide the glass away from me.

Tanner wraps his arm around me as he clinks his bottle with Ryan’s. I chime into the conversation so as not to be a total Debbie Downer. I have to get out of my head.

Older women date younger men all the time. Ashton and Demi—no, strike that. They broke up. Probably because he realized a younger Mila Kunis had a tighter ass. Stop that, Harper!

Ryan and Willa stand up, and I watch as they head toward the bar. Ryan’s hand is on her back, sliding up her body as they get more drinks and talk. The way she steps into him, totally comfortable with how they look in public, makes me extremely jealous and anxious.

Tanner leans in even more now that we’re alone, taking his thumb and placing it under my chin to bring my vision to him. “I thought you had this amazing day at work?”

I sit up straighter. “I did,” I say with a fake smile on my face.

“Then, why are you acting like the wind has been taken out of your sails?”

I reach for my drink, wanting something to play with to calm my nerves. It’s empty. “I don’t fit in here.”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

The last time I was here, I was eighteen. I had just started school and came out to let loose after classes. The most important thing to me was hooking up with guys and having enough money at the end of the night for pizza. I was known to bum a cigarette from someone outside because I loved a smoke after drinking. My life was carefree and silly.

And where was Tanner at that time? I quickly do the math in my head. He was ten, just like my students. That feels weird. I can picture Tanner as a fifth grader with floppy blond hair and a mischievous smile. He was just a kid when I was here, looking to suck face with a college senior.

My stomach turns at the thought. April was right. He is young. I just didn’t think this young.

“Harper, hey. You okay? It really isn’t a big deal.”

“You’re still in college, aren’t you?”

He drops his head back, obviously frustrated with my concern. “Yes, I go to Columbia. I graduate in December. We talked about this.”

“No”—I shake my finger at him—“you told me you were moving home in December.”

“And you didn’t wonder why I was waiting till then?”

“Most people graduate in May.”

“I added on some classes toward my master’s.”

I sigh, dropping my head. Now, I see it, but I just wasn’t thinking. I didn’t want to think it.

“Why does this bother you so much?” He places his hand on mine.

I’m a teacher, and knowing he’s still in school suddenly has me looking at him like he’s one of my students.