Page 51 of Just Ten Seconds

I look over at Dean, whose brows are up.

His shoulders rise with a shrug. “I won’t strong-arm you, but I’d really like not to be the third wheel tonight.”

I hate being the third wheel. Jackie and Nick have asked me to go out many times, and each time has been pretty depressing.

Lauren takes a step forward and leans into my ear. “I could really use some girl talk tonight. This last meeting got me nostalgic, and I need a little silliness.”

Dean is staring at me with a mischievous grin, as if he knows I’m going to say yes to this girl who has been through love and loss—and love again—and she’s barely out of college.

“I could use some girl talk too,” I say.

Lauren grabs my arm and pulls me down the street as Dean says behind us, “I knew it was a good idea to come here.”

The bar is packed.

I maneuver my body to the side to wedge myself in between two people when I feel something warm against my hand. Dean grabs hold of me, and I allow him to pull me with him as he navigates us through the crowd. He brings us up to the bar, pulling me in front of him and tucking me into the space between him and the bar.

“What would you like?” His voice tickles my ear.

I have to turn around to see his face clearly. His head is still bowed down by my shoulder. His mouth just inches away.

“Stella.”

He smiles and then raises a hand to the bartender. “Two Stellas.”

With a motion to Joey, he asks him what he wants. Joey calls out his order to the bartender.

A girl on the stool beside me gets up and bumps into my side. Dean braces me by putting his arm around my waist. My back straightens, and I inhale deeply as the bartender puts our drinks on the bar. I grab Dean’s, handing it to him, and then lift my own and take a large swig.

Joey motions toward a set of stairs, and we all follow him. He has his hand out for Lauren, who takes it. Dean doesn’t grab mine this time. Instead, he guides me with his hand on my waist. When we’re away from the bar, he lets me go, and the absence of the weight of his hand on my waist is noticeable.

We walk up the stairs to the sound of more music. Up here, there’s another bar and open space for people to dance. Lauren spies an open table with four chairs and runs over to grab it.

I start to shrug off my coat, and Dean is behind me, grabbing the sleeves and helping me remove it. I step out of it and turn around to Dean’s gaze roaming over my ultra-tight bodysuit, which covers every inch of skin but leaves little to the imagination as far as where my curves are.

As his gaze travels to my chest, I take a heavy breath and turn quickly to sit down.

“Do you come here a lot?” I ask Lauren, leaning in close so she can hear me.

“It’s one of the only local spots around here. We have a couple breweries too.” She points to my beer. “If I had known you were a beer girl, I would have suggested we go to a brewery tonight.”

“I don’t get out much. Anywhere you suggested would have been good.”

“You should. One thing I learned from Tracey’s group is that you can’t stop living. There’s too much good in the world. Too many experiences you could miss out on. The way I look at it, I don’t want to wake up in thirty years from now and wonder where my life went. You only get one chance. You have to make it worth it.”

“You’re very wise.”

“I’m a mess. Listen to half of what I say.” She giggles.

Joey and Dean are busy in their own conversation.

I take the chance to ask, “Doesn’t he get insecure about you spending your Saturday nights pining over someone else?”

She sways her head to the side. “I’ve thought about that. I know I’ll eventually be good enough where I don’t need the meetings. One thing I’ve had a hard time with is my feelings for Joey. It’s almost as if I’m sitting on the memory of Ryan. Like, is he looking down on me right now, totally pissed that I’m with someone else? Maybe. I don’t know because he’s not here to tell me. And it scares me because I wonder what it would have been like if I’d met Joey while I was with Ryan. Would the feelings have been this intense that I would have chosen Joey over Ryan?”

I’m happy the music is loud, so our conversation can’t be heard by the guys. That must be a very hard concept to grasp—loving two men on the same timeline.

“You can’t make yourself crazy with that.”