Page 35 of Body of Trust

“Fuck!” he curses and bangs his fist against the door. “I knew I should have stayed with you. I followed you to your job but left when I got a call. I couldn’t get away.”

“Away from what, Jesse?”

He moves quickly toward me. “You have to trust—”

“Trust you? I don’t even know you!”

“Please, Amelia. I need you to talk to me. What did he say? The man in the car. What was his threat?”

I consider my options. I was frantic to see him here at my home, and now, I have this punch in my gut. One moment, I think he’s my great protector, and the next, he’s just as untrustworthy as everyone else. Twice, I fell for his heroism. Now, I’m back to feeling like there’s no one who can protect me.

“I can’t tell you.” I take three steps back as my mouth goes dry, and I try to swallow the shaking nerves that are taking over me.

“Why not?”

“This was wrong.” My arms are up like protective shields. I’m hot and sweaty. The walls feel like they’re closing in. “I shouldn’t have let you in. Go home. You’re making it worse.”

He closes the space between us. I gasp for breath as the panic sets in.

“I’m not leaving you.”

“You need to.”

“Why?” he pleads.

“Because he’ll kill them!” I shout before bursting into tears. My knees give out as I fall to the floor. Heaving sobs burst from my lungs as the anxiety and nervousness of the past few days hit me hard and come barreling out like the rapids of the Niagara Falls.

I gasp for breaths as I fight the onslaught of emotions pouring out of me.

Jesse is at my side in an instant, on his knees and wrapping his body around mine.

“Please don’t cry. You sweet, wonderful, beautiful woman. You shouldn’t be going through this. You fight me at every step when all I want to do is keep you safe. I need you to believe me. We’re in this together.”

Together. It sure felt like that when we escaped through the tunnels, and since then everything I’ve ever known has morphed into something sinister.

I shake my head and back up, squirming away from him. “I’m scared, and I have no one to talk to.”

He looks genuinely hurt by that statement. His eyes are red and glassy as he holds his hands up to his heart. “You have me,” he breathes.

“Do I?” I whimper. “I need the truth. The whole truth and not what I’m allowed to hear or what you think I need to hear. If you’re truly with me, then I need you to prove it. If you want my trust, you have to give me yours as well. I need you to start by telling me why you weren’t there today, like you’d said you’d be.”

Pain and hesitation wage a war in his expression. His searing blue gaze burns a hole in mine as he fights my own determined stare. I will him to divulge his secrets. I know they won’t be pretty. The ugliest side to someone is the one you don’t show the world. I lift my chin and let him know I’m ready. I need to hear his story because if I don’t, there is no way I’ll ever be able to rely on him.

He opens his mouth to speak and then closes it. His eyes scrunch shut as he tilts his head and curses, furious with himself because he doesn’t want to have to talk. He doesn’t want to tell me his secrets.

I wait and find out if he’s angry about the words he won’t say or if, finally, I’m about to hear them for real.

“My name is Jesse Davenport. I’m an undercover agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, assigned to get intel on Frank Evangelista and Raphael Sorrentino.”

The wind is taken out of me as his confession leaves me dumbstruck. My hands fly to my belly as I fight the feeling of being sick.

He sits on his heels and holds his arms open as he tells me, “Today, I was called away by my boss, the director of criminal investigations, for an urgent meeting. I swear, I would never have abandoned you otherwise.”

“You’ve been spying on my family?” I ask in disbelief.

He nods, poised yet wary of my reaction. “A year ago, I took an assignment to investigate the Evangelista Crime Family, including the mob-run sanitation business.”

“The sanitation business is not run by the mob. That’s an old wives’ tale. Assuming any Italian in the garbage game is in the Mafia is prejudice.”