Page 104 of Pure Abandon

Oh, Gwen. My mother the meddler. She still hasn’t lost her touch. Gabriel must have seen me pull up.

“I suppose so. I’ll go. You were here first.” I try to appease him when I’m really longing for him to turn around. Please look at me.

Crack!

“No, stay. I’m almost done here,” he says, taking one last swing of the bat. He steps out of the box and removes the helmet. He replaces it with a baseball hat. I haven’t seen him wear one in so long. I smile at the memory. “What are you laughing about?”

Shit. I only make things worse. “I’m not laughing. I’m just remembering.” I look up into his navy blues. The fence between us does nothing to still my nerves. I just want to touch him.

His eyebrows rise, tempting me to share my thought.

“I was remembering our first date.” I have to speak quick or else he’ll walk away. “You brought me to a batting cage just like this one. You were terrible.” Crap. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.

Gabriel pulls his hat lower over his face, but I can see his lips curl up on the ends.

“You’re right. I was trying to impress you. I didn’t know any other way.” He shakes his head. “Lots of good that did.” He bends down to collect his bag and opens the gate to the batting cage and heads to his car. “It’s all yours.”

“Gabe, wait.” I charge after him.

Gabriel turns around. “What do you want, Kat? Haven’t you done enough?” His face is hard and cold, not the sweet Gabriel I know.

“I’m sorry. I am so sorry for everything,” I plead. “I let other people and other voices get in my head. I know now there was nothing going on between you and Becca. I was so terribly wrong.”

His fist is clenched around his bag. The other points in my face. His body is radiating with tension. “You threw away ten years of happiness, five years of marriage!”

“I know. I’m sorry.” What’s the use? It’s over. I might as well just bare it all. “I felt so lost for a while. You were off every day, working this fancy job, and lately, you’ve been staying later and later.”

“You think I like my job? I do it for you and Jack.” He throws his arms up in the air. “I hate my fucking job! I hate every client, every deposition, every amendment and appeal. I hate it all.” His eyes are on fire. “But I do it for you. I do it to give you the life you deserve.” He spits on the ground. “Or at least the life I thought you deserved.”

“I don’t want this life, Gabe! I never asked for it.” How dare he blame me? “I hate it out here. I don’t fit in. This isn’t us. It never was.” I don’t even remember how we made our way out here. That’s when we lost each other. “If you’re not happy, Gabe, quit. I’d rather have a husband who’s happy and home than a miserable one.”

He balks at my response. “Because I’m miserable? Is that why you went to bed with the first man who gave you the time of day?”

“How dare you?” Now it was my turn to be angry. “At least he wanted to touch me. At least he wasn’t too tired to return my advances.” My words were like a slap to his face.

“You are a whore. It is all sex with you.”

“You know that’s a lie. Take it back!”

He doesn’t say a word.

Taking a deep breath, I hug my denim jacket to me and walk toward Gabriel’s car. I lean my head against the door and concede. “You’re right. You’re right,” I repeat.

His body stills. I think I see his shoulders relax a bit. We stand in silence. I want to say something, but I’m afraid if I breathe too loudly, he’ll move. After an eternity, he finally speaks.

“How’s this for a cherry on top? Oswald Thompson is blackmailing me. Can you believe it? That fucking criminal is blackmailing me?” Gabriel hisses through his teeth, shaking his bead in disbelief. “I’ve been trying to get out of the case, but he said if I do, he’ll release those photos to the media.”

I turn into Gabriel, exasperated by what he’s telling me. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I know I don’t.” His words are calm, yet they hit me like a slap in the face. “I owe it to Jack to not have his mother smeared across the tabloids.”

I close my eyes and breathe in deeply. I have made a mess of everything, yet Gabriel is still trying to protect our family. How could I have doubted him? It’s no surprise Malory is obsessed with him. He had to have known.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Malory?”

His mouth nearly drops at the mention of her name. “What did she tell you?”

“Basically that she’s in love with you and she fucked with my entire life to get her hands on you.” I can’t believe I was so blind.