Page 115 of Pure Abandon

It wasn’t easy. We’ve spent a small fortune on marriage counseling, and it was worth the investment. I know there’s a part of Gabe that will never forgive me. But that’s what marriage is. Working together.

We cried a lot in the beginning, but now we laugh a whole lot more. I feel like I know Gabriel better now than I ever have. Because now I know the boy he was and the man he is now. And I love them both equally.

And Gabriel… he loves me. And he tells me often. The fact that he’s still here shows me he loves me more than I ever could have imagined.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” We packed for a long weekend, but, true to form, my darling husband didn’t tell me our destination.

“It’s a surprise.” His face is illuminated in the bright Florida sunshine.

“And I love your surprises.” I fall deeper into the crook of his arm. He smells like sunshine and the sea.

“Twenty questions. Me first. Favorite thing about Florida? And you can’t say me or Jack or Gray.”

That’s easy. “The house. It’s perfect.” A modest-sized three-bedroom bungalow on the intercoastal. I can walk to the beach with my boys.

Gabriel agrees. “Yes, the house is beautiful, like my wife. Although, I have to say, my favorite thing is the fact that we can take the boat out every day.”

Yes, my husband, the sailor. This is the boy I fell in love with and the man he has become wrapped in one delicious package.

“Me next.” I love playing games with him. “Thing you miss most about New York?”

“The food,” he says with a laugh. “You?” His navy blues sparkle.

“The skyline.”

“I promise I’ll take you back.” He leans down and kisses me passionately, his hand resting on my cheek, slowly pulling me in closer. I can’t believe I went so long without kissing this man. I mean really kissing him the way two lovers do. We were so caught up in life that we forgot to live for each other. I will never tire of kissing him again.

Gabriel smiles, breaking our embrace completely. I look up at him and see mischief.

“When do you want to start trying for the girl?” Gabriel asks, laughing a little since he knows it’s ridiculous.

“I just had Grayson!” I hit him in the arm, my hair blowing in the wind.

Gabriel takes his hands and smoothes the hair off my face, holding it in place on the side of my head. “I know, but I can’t wait to have a little girl that looks just like you.” He kisses my nose, and I melt at the touch.

One corner of my mouth turns up. “Well… I am enjoying the practice. Maybe we can practice for a few more months and then try?”

Gabriel holds out his pinky finger to me. “I promise to always try.” His words have more meaning than ever before.

I smile, wrapping my pinky around his. He looks down at our entwined fingers and kisses them, sealing our promise to each other. “I love you, Mrs. Monroe.”

The sun shines brightly on our backs as I kiss our fated hands. “I love you, too. Now what do you say to getting some dockside delivery when we arrive at our surprise destination? I’m starving.”

His eyebrows perk up. “Chinese?”

“You don’t have to ask me twice.”

ASHER

I don’t know why she always feels the need to shower at my place. It irritates the hell out of me, but at least I know she’ll be gone as soon as she’s done. It’s the only reason I keep her around. She may be a vindictive bitch, but she’s a great fuck and knows I’m not going to ask her to stay the night. I don’t want her here all night. I don’t want anyone here all night. I may hate to sleep alone, but that’s my cross to bear. My penance for a wrong I did so long ago. I sleep alone, in the dark, and I like it that way.

I push the covers off my body and lean down to the floor, grabbing the dress pants she so carelessly threw on the floor in her rush to get me naked. I slide them on, going commando and shirtless. I know she’s going to see me like this when she gets out of the shower and want another go, but I don’t care. I want her gone when she comes out.

Walking down the hallway, I turn into the kitchen and grab the bottle of scotch I’d started before she arrived. I pour myself a fresh glass and savor the burn. Only alcohol that hurts is worth drinking.

I take my glass and move into the living room. It’s a huge room in a huge apartment. Too big for one person. I know this, yet I don’t know how to live any other way. My house is nestled, if you will, on the top two floors of the Asher building. If you hit Penthouse on the elevator, you’ll go to my office. A very public space that everyone and their mother goes through, trying to get a piece of me and the Asher dynasty. What most people don’t know is there is a private code for the elevator to bring you here.

It’s three thousand square feet of mine. I only let a handful of people up here. It’s one of the few things that keeps me sane. This and music. When I’m up here, I can relax. No one is asking me for money, a deal, a favor. No one can pretend to need me, care for me, want for me. There are no false pretenses up here, no bullshit.