Page 95 of Spurred On

Oddly, hauntingly, that had been her attitude as well.

It had served neither of them well.

Sidney couldn’t help thinking that if she had been here—whether he wanted her help or not—maybe Dad wouldn’t have pushed himself past his limits, maybe he wouldn’t now be in hospital clinging to life.

“What on earth are you thinking about?” Hanna asked. “You look fierce.”

Sidney blinked, surprised to be caught out. She forced a smile. “Fierce in the modelesque way?” She flicked her hair to make a joke of it.

Hanna shook her head. “Fierce in the ‘Winter is coming’ kind of way.”

“Really? That fierce?”

“Yes.” Hanna nudged her with her knee. “What are you thinking? Really?” Her tone made it clear she wouldn’t tolerate any prevarication, especially in the form of a lame jest.

“Dad,” Sidney said with a sigh.

Hanna squeezed her hand. “He’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure he will be. I was just thinking . . .”

“What?”

“You know, they say it’s the caregivers who go first.”

Perhaps she shouldn’t have been so blunt. Hanna reared back with a look of horror on her face.

“That is true,” Lisa said, setting her bowl of ice cream on the table. Mom, with a glint in her eye, picked it up and started chowing down.

“I just can’t help thinking if I . . .”

“Oh God, Sidney,” Hanna gasped. “This is not your fault.”

“Isn’t it? I could have been here. Should have been here.”

“Dad is a grown-up. I lectured him incessantly about getting more help. He’s the one who didn’t want strangers in the house.”

“I know. But we could have . . .”

“What?”

“Forced him.”

Hanna snorted something that might have been a laugh. “Forced him? Have you met our father? No one forces him to do anything. Especially when it means admitting that he cannot do it all.”

“Your dad is pretty stubborn,” Claire said with a wink. “He always has been.”

“Besides, it’s pointless to steep yourself in what-ifs.”

“True.” Lisa nodded. “What matters now is what comes next. How do you move forward, making sure he stays healthy and whole?”

“I’m staying with him,” Sidney said before she even processed the urge. But she knew it was right. She knew it was what she had to do. It was her turn to carry the load. Both Dad and Hanna had done their part to keep the family afloat. Now it was her turn to step up to the plate.

“What about your job?” Hanna asked in a whisper. “Your apartment? You love living in Dallas.” It was hard not to gape at her sister, but really, it should be no surprise Hanna thought all that was true. It was what Sidney had told her, for years, in gushing raptures.

It was, of course, all a lie.

Oh, she liked living in the city, where you could get Chinese or Greek or Italian at all hours, but that was the extent of her passion for urban life.