Page 94 of Blood Money

She’d lost him.

…

Gray stood and towered over Alex. His mind, his guts, and his heart were all twisting inside.

Anger. Betrayal. Loss. He didn’t know which emotion topped the other. “Are there any more lies I should know about?”

Alex raised her chin, almost in defiance. But her eyes gave her away. Big blue eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The sight of those tears ripped Gray’s heart in two, but he wouldn’t go there again. God help him, less than eight hours ago he’d nearly confessed his love to her.

“I don’t know who you are,” he said softly. “I don’t know what the truth is with you, because most of the words that come out of your mouth have been nothing but lies. Simonetti was right. It’s a never-ending cycle with you, and I can’t do this again.”

The last time I did, people died.

Alex’s voice quivered. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“I’m sure you didn’t, Mrs. Mohammad.” But she had. It was all he could do not to smash a chair through the nearest window. “This whole time I’ve been sleeping with a married woman. Yet another piece of critical information you chose not to share. At least now I understand where Nicky gets his dark hair and eyes.”

Alex took a step back. The shocked look on her face made him feel like a shithead, but it was the truth and it needed to be said.

He shook his head, uttering a grim laugh. “As much of an asshole as Simonetti is, your lies really did put people at risk, and that’s exactly why the department screens applicants. To protect the city from criminals and terrorists getting into positions of authority and from being privy to classified information.”

“I know.” Alex tipped her head up as tears streamed down her face, but her voice remained steady and strong. “I was wrong to do that, but I didn’t do any of this to give Jan or the Pyramid information. You have to know that.”

Gray took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling. Christ, he was a sap. After everything she’d done and everything she lied about, part of him still wanted to take her into his arms and never let go. But there was too much between them now.

“I believed in you.” He clenched his jaw. Even when the facts said otherwise, he’d gone against his ingrained value system and had faith in her. But this…was too much. He couldn’t risk his heart to a woman who consistently lied. Fuck, but if Lt. Frye hadn’t interrupted them this morning, he would have made the ultimate mistake—telling her he loved her.

“Did you?” With jerky motions, Alex swiped at her tears. “I wonder.”

“Wonder what?” Gray shouted, not caring if anyone else heard him. “I did believe in you. Right up until the time I found out you were lying again. You could have told me everything. I wouldn’t have outed you.” But would he have really trusted her again? Damned if he knew.

She’d been—and still was—married to a terrorist. How could he ever know for sure whether she was feeding her husband information?

You know she wasn’t, his mind screamed. You know her, and you know the kind of woman she is.

And he’d thought he knew Marina. Trusting her was the biggest mistake of his life, and he’d go to hell and back before traveling down that deadly path again.

When Alex headed for the door, he almost reached for her. When she turned to look at him, his heart clenched in agony.

“I don’t think you have it in you to understand.” Her voice shook. “I don’t think you could ever consider that sometimes people do things because they have to, and it’s not with the intention of hurting others. You’ll have to forgive the rest of us frail human beings. It’s a flaw we have.”

Gray nearly faltered. His mind warred with his instinct to stop her from leaving. If he let her go, he knew he’d never see her again.

“I guess we disappointed each other.” She stopped with her hand on the doorknob. “For that I’m sorry. I’d hoped for something more, but I know now that it would never have worked. You would always wonder if I was lying to you. I can’t live like that.”

“Somewhere out there I’m sure there’s a man who doesn’t mind being with a woman who keeps secrets. I’m not that man,” he said with a slow shake of his head.

With every breath he took, Gray wanted to understand, to forgive her, but lies were no foundation on which to start a marriage.

Marriage?

Yeah, he’d actually been thinking about it. That when this whole mess was over, he, Alex, and Nicky could start fresh. As a family.

She took a deep breath. “Good-bye, Gray.”

With his heart threatening to burst from his chest, he could only watch as Alex opened the door.

“Alex.” She turned to look at him over her shoulder, her eyes bright with hope. “I’ll have a squad car stationed outside your apartment for a week. After that, if you have any problems…call nine-one-one.”