Page 76 of Disavowed

“I’m not faking how I feel about you.” His eyes softened, and he loosened his grip on her arms, still holding her. “I’ve been falling for you since the day we met a year ago, but I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t take the pain of losing someone I loved again. For years I had nightmares thinking about Anika dying, but those nightmares finally stopped.” He paused and gentled his voice. “They stopped the day I met you. When this is all over I want to take a chance with us. I promise you, I’m not the man I was a year ago. You changed that. You changed me. I need you to have faith in me and to trust in us.”

Her body began to tremble. Tendrils of doubt wound their way around her heart as she remembered his story about the woman he’d loved so deeply. Another part of his undercover act, no doubt. Then she recalled with painful clarity how her parents had left her. Grandparents who should have taken her in and loved her had abandoned her. Sadness welled up inside her, slowly at first, like a trickling stream. Then came the familiar protective shield. It was a failsafe mode she switched on to block out her emotions. That was how she’d survived. It was easier to go through the rest of her life alone rather than face any of that pain again.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she sniffed back her tears. “I can’t. And I don’t believe you.” Her voice was soft but determined, no longer trembling as she made her decision, one motivated by the desperate need to survive. To not get drowned again by a tidal wave of useless longing for a man who didn’t really exist. “I think you’re exactly who and what I always thought you were. A womanizer. I don’t think you’ve ever been in love. I don’t think you’re capable of it. In fact, I don’t believe a single word you’ve said to me tonight. Not even about—about Anika.”

His eyes narrowed, and he stiffened. His hands remained on her arms a moment longer, then fell to his sides.

“I forbid you to go near the hotel today. It’s too dangerous for you to be anywhere the Pyramid may still turn up.” His voice had gone cold, unfeeling. As if he, too, had flipped a switch and was now in total cop mode. “I don’t even want you leaving your apartment until you hear from me.”

Anger seared through her. “Don’t you dare think of forbidding me to do anything.”

“I’m telling you to stay away.” His jaw tightened, outlining the hard planes of his face. “Until I verify the reopening is canceled, it’s not safe for you to go anywhere. Someone was staking out your apartment last night, and it wasn’t Jack. I’m betting whoever it was will tell him you and I were together. When that happens, God knows what Jack will do. He’s got some kind of sick fantasy about the two of you together. But after today, he won’t be working for you. I’ll make sure of it. For now, do as I say.”

In a daze, she walked to the door and opened it. When she spoke, her tone was matter-of-fact, not emotional and surprisingly not angry. “You have no say in what I do or don’t do. You never did, and you never will.”

He came to the door but didn’t touch her. “Dammit, Daisy. Don’t go there. I couldn’t take it if anything happened to you.”

For the last time, she looked up into his face, knowing she never would again. Eyes she’d once considered to be a more beautiful shade of blue than the clearest ocean met hers. Then she took in the firm set of his mouth and the soft lips that would never kiss her again. Nor would the light sandy-blond stubble shadowing his chiseled jaw ever graze against her neck as he kissed his way down her body. She could live with that. She had to.

He drew in a long breath, then walked out the door. She closed it behind him and twisted the deadbolt. In a daze, she went to the sofa and sat on the middle cushion, tucking her bare legs beneath her. She ought to feel something, but she didn’t.

Letting her head fall back on the cushion, a sense of peace surrounded her, making her realize that since the moment Dom had cannonballed back into her life, she’d been constantly on edge, mentally and physically exhausted. Not anymore. Mercifully, she felt nothing.

Chapter Twenty-One

Dom remained standing beneath the shower’s hot pounding spray. He’d finished rinsing five minutes ago but couldn’t bring himself to shut off the water. It had been five hours since he’d left Daisy’s apartment.

He knew damn well she was too pig-headed and strong-willed to heed his warning about staying away from the hotel, so the first thing he’d done was to call Gray and have him station two uniforms outside her building, one in the front and one in the back, with orders to prevent her from leaving under any circumstances. He’d waited down the block until they’d arrived. That had given him peace of mind for her immediate safety, but he couldn’t stop replaying their last conversation over and over in his head.

He smacked both hands against the shower wall, welcoming the pain that shot up his arms to his shoulders.

I deserve it.

When he’d left Daisy’s place, her eyes had been lifeless. It was as if something inside her had died. He’d done that to her. He had used her, and so had Jack. The ironic thing was that he suspected Jack really was in love with her. Hell, he knew he was, and he’d totally fucked things up.

I’ve lost her.

Now he had to accept that he’d blown the best thing that could have happened to him. With a vicious twist, he cranked off the water and toweled himself dry. Naked, he padded into his bedroom and grabbed a pair of jeans, a black knit shirt, and a black Polar Fleece vest. The clock on his nightstand said it was after nine. Since the Pyramid didn’t know the Piazza’s grand reopening was about to be canceled, he’d still meet Jack at the hotel as planned at eleven. That way he could maintain his cover.

His cell phone rang, and he picked it up from the dresser. Not unexpectedly, it was Gray, probably phoning to confirm the event was canceled.

“I got bad news,” Gray said as soon as he answered. “Shane won’t cancel.”

“Why the fuck not?” Dom dropped his clothes on the bed. “Does this asshole have a death wish? And how can he justify putting everyone else in the hotel at risk?”

“Apparently,” Gray said in a tone broadcasting obvious disgust, “Shane is such a megalomaniac, nothing short of an apocalypse will convince him to cancel. Like you said, this hotel is his baby, the culmination of his life’s work. He actually believes his own hotel security team can handle any threat.”

“This isn’t just any threat.” He cradled the phone between his chin and shoulder and pulled on his jeans. “Those bozos have no idea what they’ll be up against. Did the PC tell Shane the hit’s revenge for him mowing down the head assassin’s only son?”

“He did, but it didn’t change Shane’s answer. He told the PC that except for the mayor’s security detail, no one with a weapon gets inside the hotel. The only assistance he accepted is an old photo of Marsden the PC sent over so his detail can be on the lookout for him.”

“This is bullshit.” Dom began pacing the length of his bedroom. “Can’t the commissioner order the event shut down?”

“It’s private property,” Gray countered.

“Somehow we need to find those guns. Were you able to re-interview Valenzuela?”

“Twenty minutes ago. He confirmed that he was called by someone who threatened to out him if he didn’t allow one crate inside the hotel without searching it.”