Page 37 of Crown: Phase 4

“So, what is it, ma?” Danger leaned in and asked against her ear.

“I… I’ve been thinking about moving to North Carolina.” Caresha forced out. “I already started looking at jobs, housing, and applying to schools. A job finally called me back this morning.”

Danger’s brows pulled together. His arm loosened around her waist, and he leaned away as if distance would help him understand what she had just said.

“The fuck you mean you been thinking about moving to North Carolina?”

Caresha cupped his face, already knowing the blow her confession would deliver. It was one of the reasons she had kept it to herself for so long. She didn’t want to hurt the people she cared about. Not Nivéa. Not her mother or grandmother. And now…not Danger.

Caresha had sat with the decision for months, going back and forth until she nearly talked herself out of it. Once she and Danger started spending more time together, the plan had slipped farther into the background. Then the job called that morning and reminded her that the life she had been planning was still possible. She would be making more money than she was now.

Fresh out of high school, Caresha had enrolled in college with plans of becoming a nurse but dropped out at twenty years old. She could admit that she hadn’t taken life seriously back then. She put things off and assumed she would have time to figure everything out later. Now, every day she sat inside that call center wearing a headset and listening to strangers complain, she felt like she was wasting her potential.

She didn’t want to wake up ten years from now, still sitting in the same cubicle, wondering why she never gave herself another chance. She wanted a real career. Something stable that belonged to her. Watching Nivéa build her boutique from the ground up had only made Caresha want more for herself.

“Don’t be mad. This was before we started talking, baby. I don’t know…it’s just something I’ve been wanting to do. Don’t say anything, though, because I haven’t told Niv yet. This gon’ crush her if I really decide to go.”

Danger remained silent.

“Hell, I’m hurt my damn self. I’m going to miss my life here, especially Ny. But I’ve always wanted a change of scenery. I’m trying to get back in school and better my life. I want to be an RN. North Carolina is way more affordable than it is out here. I researched housing and schools and found a few that’ll accept some of my old college credits. I’ll be able to afford my rent with this new job, and it’s at a hospital. It’ll give me a feel for the setting.”

Caresha kept talking, explaining why she wanted to leave and what she hoped to gain from it, but her words were going in one of Danger’s ears and out the other. He heard North Carolina. He heard jobs, housing, and schools. Most of all, he heard that she had built an entire plan that placed her somewhere he wasn’t.

Danger wasn’t trying to shit on her dreams, but right then, all he could think about was the fact that she was talking about leaving just as he had allowed himself to become attached to her. And in that moment, he didn’t give a fuck about Nivéa’s feelings or anybody else’s.

What about his?

Chapter Twelve.

The familiar scent of disinfectant mixed with lavender air freshener greeted Nivéa, bringing back memories of every appointment that had led to Nyla. Of course, nothing about the place had changed since her last pregnancy. The same neutral-colored artwork hung along the walls, the same soft music played in the background, and the same glass bowl of peppermint candies sat on the receptionist’s desk.

Dr. Lisa Harris had been delivering babies in Nivéa’s family for generations. She had delivered Nivéa’s mother while caring for her grandmother, delivered Nivéa while her mother lay in the same position, and years later, placed Nyla into Nivéa’s arms. Now, if everything went as planned, she would be there to welcome another baby into the family. Even the women behind the counter recognized Nivéa before she could give her name.

“Well, look who’s back already.” Ms. Renee teased with a warm smile, her attention moving from Nivéa to Nyla asleep in the carrier. “And you brought the last little blessing with you. She’s so beautiful.”

“Yesss…I’m back.” Nivéa replied with a nervous giggle, heat climbing to her cheeks. “Thank you.”

“It happens, sweetie. I see you have a ring, too. Congratulations to you both.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Appreciate you,” Crown said, standing beside Nivéa. He hadn’t said much since they left home; both anxious and nervous to check on his seed.

Ms. Renee slid a clipboard across the counter. “We need updated forms for every new pregnancy. Fill these out, then leave a urine sample before the nurse calls you.”

Nivéa sat, and Crown claimed the seat beside her. She worked through the forms, marking her last menstrual period, current medications, previous pregnancy, previous C-section, and the date Nyla had been born. Having to write the dates so close together made her pause.

Four months.

She had only been Nyla’s mother for four months, and she was already starting over once more. For a moment, fear settled all over again, replacing the excitement she felt that morning. Her body had barely recovered. Some mornings, the scar along her lower stomach still felt tight when she stretched too quickly.

Nivéa was still learning Nyla’s cries, building her business, adjusting to marriage, and living under the pressure of Crown’s lifestyle. Now another baby was growing inside her, depending on her body to be strong enough to do everything again. She knew she should’ve been thinking about all that when she and Crown were making love. But every time that man lay inside of her, she lost her damn mind.

Crown’s hand covered the top of the clipboard, getting her attention. “You good, ma?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

“You sure?”