Page 7 of Who Did This To You?

"What isn't possible?" she breathed out, her nostrils flaring as she took a deep breath in. She let out a small groan, her eyelids fluttering as she tilted her head up for a brief moment and sucked in several deep breaths, my scent intensifying in the small room.

I had to be sure.

"My apologies, Róisín," I said, fighting against the desperate urge to fuck her, take her, mount her. "But by any chance, is my scent arousing to you?"

"Yes," she moaned out. "You smell so good."

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

My horror and joy grew together, climbing up and over each other as they fought for dominance, creating a mishmash of conflict that clawed at my heart.

I had travelled vast distances, journeying into the far reaches of space to find allies against the rising darkness that was attempting to consume my civilization, and instead I found the one thing that had evaded me all my life.

But it was against the rules.

I finally found her, and I couldn't take her; I couldn't have her, or I would jeopardize the very reason I came all this way in the first place. I couldn't break their rules and regulations right after agreeing to them. I was the first representative of my species, and they would judge those who followed based on the integrity of my character.

I had to show that I respected their clearly laid-out boundaries.

"I need you," she said, stepping forward, her hands reaching for me. "I need you inside of me."

"Róisín, no," I said. "Stop."

FOUR

RÓISÍN

My hands froze in the air, inches from his face, seconds from touching him. I was going to kiss him, to run my fingers through his hair, to climb on top of where he knelt so that I could feel him, rub against him, slide on top of him and let him wrap his arms around my waist, thrust up into me and… but… he said no.

I swayed there, needing, wanting, desperate, hungry for him.

"No?" I repeated, the word utterly offensive to me. How could he say that? Didn't he need me the way I needed him?

I wanted him; he wanted me.

I could see how badly he wanted me, how he throbbed for me.

"It's against the regulations," he said.

"I don't care," I said, not sure what he was talking about. There weren't any rules against hookups. The only rules that existed for that kind of thing was to set boundaries for more aggressive cultures, who flirting was physically aggressive or domineering. The rules existed to prevent anyone from feeling pressured or coerced while the other party thought they were saying yes. I wanted him. I needed him.

"I need you," I pleaded, still held in place by that horrible no.

"I need you to leave," he said, the words aching as if they tortured him to say. "Róisín, go. Please, I can't. If you stay, I can't… just go, please go."

He was rejecting me.

But he didn't have to, didn't want to. He was hard for me, aroused for me. He was as desperate as I was; I knew it. All I had to do was ignore him, stay, and then we would both lose control, and that no would fade into the past.

But that wouldn't erase it.

No number of climaxes would remove the no from existence.

No matter how horny I was, no matter what I thought about his own state of arousal, there was no excuse for ignoring his verbal communication.

With a sob, I tore myself away from him. I grabbed one of the towels from the shelf, wrapped it around me as I snatched the rest of my clothing. As I reached for the door, I glanced back to see him. He was on his hands and knees, his eyes wild as he watched me. He looked like he was about to launch himself across the room at me.

I stepped through the door, and as it slid shut behind me, he let out a howl, like my very absence was a deathly wound.