Page 94 of The Haunting Plot

I wait for her to continue. “What do you need right now?”

Her face softens. “I need you to take control. I need you to tell me exactly what you want me to do. And I need your filthy words to distract me.”

CHAPTER 23

RAVEN

Ineed to get out of my head, to quiet all the loud thoughts and emotions. My pulse quickens as I try to hide the way I feel, but hiding from Sawyer is impossible.

“Are you nervous?”

A sharp breath escapes me as I sit back on my heels. “I’ve never done this with someone I care about before. Shit. Why did I say that out loud?” I pinch my lips together to stop anything else from spilling out of my mouth.

“You already admitted you loved me.” He pauses, searching my face. “But you’ve never made love to someone before, have you?”

Why is this so hard? Why can’t I get out of my head? Why can’t I just admit how scared I am? How nerve-wracking it is to be this vulnerable with someone I love? What if I do this and I lose him too? What if he leaves me? Or he dies? This isn’t the time to have these thoughts, and I don’t want to scare him off, so I roll my eyes. “Fuck off.”

His hand shoots out, grabbing my neck. “Don’t roll your eyes when I’m talking to you, or I’ll light up that plump ass of yours. Is that clear?” His grip tightens, preventing me from nodding, forcing me to use my words.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Yes, Chief,” he corrects, tilting my head, forcing my eyes to his.

My eyes widen in shock, thrilled that he’s reading me, that he’s giving me what I need. “Yes, Chief.”

A wicked smile teases his lips. “Good girl.”

Oh fuck, I like that. Up until now, I’ve been in control, enjoying the way this big, burly man submits to me. But right now I need him to take charge over me and my pleasure.

He leans in close, his eyes bouncing back and forth between mine like he can’t decide which one to focus on. “You like being praised, huh? Can’t take a compliment to save your life, but throw a little good girl at you and you preen like a needy kitten. Are you gonna put your claws away and behave for me?”

“Yes, Chief.”

“Fuck, I like that more than I should. If I thought your comebacks made me hard, your obedience has me feral.” His cheek glides against mine, the slight stubble on his jaw and hairs of his mustache tickling me as they slowly drag along my skin. “Before we go any further, do you have a safe word?”

“Safe word is pumpkin. And I’ll let you know if I want you to stop. Right now, I just need to get out of my head.”

He nods in understanding. “Sit up on your knees and put your hands on my dick.”

I straighten, complying quickly. His hold on my neck tightens as he pulls my body flush with his. The move traps my arms against his stomach, leaving little space for me to do anything but grip his dick. He leans in close to my ear. “I know you don’t give this power lightly, that it takes a lot for you to trust someone like this. I’m gonna do my best to get this right.”

A shuddering breath escapes me as I lean into him, grateful for the way his touch calms me.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want your cock, the real thing, not the toy I’ve been pretending with. I want you to fill me so completely that all I can think about is you inside of me, on top of me, behind me, surrounding me, consuming me. You can say anything you want. Call me anything you want. Use me how you want. I want you to punish me, make it hurt, and then heal me with your touch.”

He hesitates, searching my face. “You want me to hit you?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. I’m not going to get into the science behind pain and pleasure receptors. Just know that I like the pain. I need it.”