Page 20 of A Cruel Kindness

I watched her walk towards the small hallway that doubled as a closet on either side before it opened up into the en suite bathroom. I moved over to the edge of the bed to undo the laces on my boots, and noticed that someone on the cleaning staff must have thought they were a fucking comic.

Why hadn’t Bellamy mentioned something? She’d been in here earlier to change. If it was me, I would have walked out screaming my head off about this.

Someone had the bright idea to push the two thin beds together to make one, larger bed. When it was Carson and I sharing the room, they were oriented in an L-shape to make the room look bigger.

I looked up to find Bellamy reaching into a small duffel bag and pulling out a case of toiletries. She clearly heeded the warning she was given well. We were only allowed to bring whatever personal items fit in a backpack or small case. It was on us to carry it across the Bridge.

“We can move the beds apart,” I said, my throat feeling scratchy.

Bellamy’s eyes slid to me for a second, but the rest of her body didn’t turn. “It’s fine.”

“What?” I asked, sure I was hearing her wrong.

This time, she turned to me, leaning against the lip of the closet. “I assume it’s important we both sleep well tonight?”

I nodded, fighting a groan.

“Let’s call it six hours of sleep,” Bellamy said. “I’m going to guess the Bond won’t be happy with that many hours apart.”

“We’d be in the same room,” I argued, if not for some semblance of self preservation.

Bellamy breathed in, her blinks stuttering for a second. “No, no I don’t think that’s enough.”

“What did you just do?” I asked. It looked like she’d just consulted the Bond for permission.

Bellamy shrugged one shoulder. “It is quite vocal if you just listen to it.”

I have been. It’s been screaming at me to run away with you all day. That wouldn’t do any good to say out loud, so I went with, “I hear it.”

Bellamy nodded, just one dip of her softly pointed chin. “I’d rather sleep through the night. We can build a pillow wall if that makes you more comfortable.”

A shocked laugh jumped out of me before I could stop it. “Go take a shower, princess,” I said, both to tease her a little more and to deflect. She’d told me to listen to the Bond, and it was currently telling me that if I attempted to put pillows in between us, we’d wake up to a feather massacre in the morning.

The corner of Bellamy’s mouth jumped up, the closest thing to a real smile I’d seen from her. If anyone was going to figure out how to get her to drop that sterile, practiced smile it was going to be me. Even if the only way to do it was to get her to scream at me.

After grabbing some clothes from her bag, Bellamy walked into the bathroom and slid the door shut behind her. Seconds later, the shower turned on and breath fled my body.

My elbows dropped to my knees, my hands dragged down my face, my boots forgotten.

This was such a fucking mess.

I thought I would at least be prepared for this—or more prepared than Bell—having experienced a Match before. But with Carson … it wasn’t like this. When we met at eighteen, we’d just fallen into a brotherly dynamic, immediately trusting and relying on one another despite the fact that we’d both grown up in situations that made us hesitant to trust at all.

With Bellamy … it was none of that. I felt rattled, like I was on a horse that got spooked and taken off in a gallop and there was little I could do but hold on to the reins for dear life.

And the … attraction. That was new. Maybe the worst part.

Bellamy had always been beautiful. Too young for me to really appreciate before, but now … God, she was perfect.

Even when she was constraining herself to that perfectly poised, well-mannered version of herself, she was breathtaking. Maybe the Bond was messing with my head or something, but the thought had already cemented.

I’d joked about it just to get a rise out of her, but it was the truth. There were only two options for my future now—be with her or no one else.

With everything going on … it would be solitude. And a hell of a fight keeping my hands off her.

Water slapped against the porcelain floor from the shower, which only served to remind me that Bellamy was in there. Naked.

I bent over to pull my boots off, hoping that would distract me. That worked for about twenty seconds before I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin again.