Page 86 of A Sweet Destruction

“Robe is in the closet.” Alright, that was a passably calm tone.

By the time I was done fiddling with the placement of a candle on the edge of the windowsill, I felt Esme’s presence in the door frame.

The two breaths I took to gather my sanity were of little use once I turned to her. The candlelight made her glow like an angel. Her eyes burned a rich copper, sparking under the shadow of her eyelashes. Each curve and dip of her face was highlighted as if a master of art had chosen where to place each individual beam of light.

Her hair, full of strands that had brushed over me several times while we were sleeping and had been the source of several untoward thoughts, was pulled around one shoulder and hanging down to her waist. It fell over the curve of her breast, catching a shine that made the soft brown color appear nearly silver.

I dipped down to run my fingers through the water, needing to do anything else than imagine what her little intake of breath would sound like if I pulled open the tie of her robe. “Water’s good.”

Esme looked at me for a heavy beat, and if it wasn’t for the low light playing tricks on my mind, I could have sworn the color of her cheeks deepened. She took a step forward, hand going to the tie at her waist, before stopping.

I turned around silently, suddenly feeling all too sorry for myself that we weren’t at a place where she felt comfortable undressing in front of me. I didn’t even know what she looked like without clothes on.

Though there was certainly a baser reason I wanted to see that, one that had me curling my hands into my side, I was mostly angry that it was something about her I didn’t know.

The sound of Esme’s soft exhale as she stepped into the bath knocked me out of my stupor. Now was not the time for anger. I could sort my thoughts with a punishing ride with Shadow or a lengthy talk with one of the doctors back on the base.

Take. Care. Of. Her, the Bond snapped at me when I was too slow to move.

I am, I hissed back, before mentally ushering it into the back of my mind.

When I turned, Esme had settled into the water and had her knees tucked up to her chest, the tops of them just peaking out from the bubbles. I settled down next to her on my haunches, bringing us nearly eye level.

She’d tied her hair up, exposing her delicately arched ears, decorated with thin gold rings, each with a different, nearly invisible, precious stone in the center.

Purple, red, white, pink on the side closest to me, leaving room for the larger hoop she liked to wear closest to her face. Blue, light green, two white, then a darker green on the other side.

I reached forward to tuck a wayward strand of hair behind her ear, brushing the top ring with my thumb.

My heart seized in my chest when I felt her neck twitch, feeling more terrified than I had in as long as I could remember, probably all the way back to the first time I saw her. I expected her to pull away, to abandon this whole idea and slip through my fingers.

Maybe that’s what her instinct was, but after a moment, that little twitch settled and I realized it wasn’t a twitch at all, it was her pushing into my touch.

I prayed to every deity who would listen for control.

I pushed further, tangling my fingers into the hair pulled up at the base of her neck and kneading softly, pressing against tension-filled muscles.

A shaky exhale left her as she rocked against my touch, her head turning into my wrist before resetting herself to face forward.

“It’s okay,” I coaxed softly. “I won’t hold it against you. I promise.”

That was the first time I’d lied to her. This would become my most treasured memory, holding it close until the end of my days.

I could tell she wanted to, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. I knew why, why she was resisting it. There was a world of shame tied up with her desires, of a secret she was forced to keep because of my blindness. All I could do was give her a safe space to test the waters.

Luckily, that was what did it.

Esme’s face fell, all the energy she used to hold her expression just so fleeing her body. Even though I’d seen every expression she could make, it still felt like seeing her for the first time. The way her eyes softened with vulnerability, the little opening between her lips when her jaw loosened.

God, she was fucking beautiful.

With a heavy sigh, she gave into her instincts, and turned her head into my arm, nuzzling her forehead across the skin on the inside of my wrist. My hand tightened in its hold on her hair, the only sign of the war my body was waging on me. My entire body was tense and hard and I forced myself to remain a still, silent being she could use however she wanted.

My forearm seemed to mold perfectly to the curve of her nose and up to her brow.

Of course it does, the Bond remarked with a scoff.

I made myself stay still as Esme rolled her forehead against my skin in small, snuggling movements, like she was trying to burrow her way into my skin. After a few moments, she dragged her nose up, notching the tip over my forearm and taking a deep breath.