Page 31 of Good Vampires Go to Heaven

Beltane nodded and led the way to the conference room where Jasper’s high council had been called to an emergency meeting. They passed through the Corridor of the Condemned, where normally Jasper would have paused to appreciate his special invention, life-size killing jars that lined either side. Based on the model of butterfly killing jars, these tall, glass cylinders held newly captured, naked sinners who would eventually turn into demon vampires. They were all alive, technically, with long pins through their hearts holding them in place, though only a few of them continued to scream and bang their bloody fists against their glass prisons. Others were already in a state of stasis. Usually, Jasper would have enjoyed watching his little pets being tortured into compliance, but not today. There was too much to do, and his mind was occupied elsewhere.

Beltane opened the double doors to the conference room.

The first person Jasper met was the Nazi, Heinrich Mann, whom he hated with a passion almost equal to what he now felt for Zebulan. Jasper put up a halting hand. “Do not speak, Heinrich. I am well aware of Satan’s opinion on the matter at hand. I do not need your secondhand reports.” Heinrich claimed to have a close relationship with the sin master, which he lorded over all of them. No more! Jasper vowed. He would stick a swastika up Heinrich’s ass if he pulled any crap today.

Jasper glanced around the U-shaped conference table. Beltane stood on his right, between Jasper and Heinrich. Also standing (none would dare sit until Jasper gave the signal) were the high haakai Yakov the Russian Cossack; the pirate Red Tess; Ganbold the Mongol; and Hector, a former Roman general whose specialty had been feeding Christians to the lions. There were no other Lucipires in the room today. No veggie crudités or hors d’oeuvres, before or after the meeting. No live entertainment from pierced nubile Lucipire trainees. It would be strictly business.

Jasper called the meeting to order by letting out a mighty roar. They were all in demonoid form today, and they roared in reply. Then he sat down and the others followed suit in special chairs which accommodated their huge beast bodies and long tails.

“This atrocity that has befallen Horror . . . which is in effect an affront to all Lucipiredom . . . was caused by a vangel infiltrating our castle,” Jasper announced right off.

A murmur of surprise and consternation passed through the room.

“What happened?” Hector wanted to know. “I thought extra guards had been set up to prevent any rescue attempts.”

“Yes, we were on the alert these many months for the VIK to launch an all-out attempt to rescue Zebulan,” Jasper said and couldn’t even say the traitor’s name with a tug of grief at his cold heart. Like a son Zebulan had been to Jasper, and then the betrayal. Ah, the pain! The pain! “What they sent instead was a female vangel who passed herself off as Satan’s sister.”

“Does Satan have a sister?” Tess asked.

“Of course not,” Jasper answered. “This vangel will pay. Zebulan will pay. Every vangel in the world will pay,” Jasper promised.

His words were met with cheers.

“This . . . is . . . war!” Jasper declared. “A war to end all vampire demon/angel wars! Our very own Armageddon!”

More cheers.

“This war will have three major goals: One, to recapture Zebulan, his vangel rescuer, and the three Lucipire witches who aided in the escape. Heinrich, you will lead that expedition. I know how efficient the Nazis were at finding the whereabouts of the Jews. This one Jew and his cohorts should be no problem.”

Heinrich nodded his acceptance of the assignment, for once being deferential to Jasper. It probably wouldn’t last any longer than he could get to a cell phone to call Lucifer and report all the doings here.

“Second,” Jasper went on, “our mission will be to discover the hideouts of all the vangels in the world, including the VIK, and destroy those dwellings, whether they be cave or castle. Can you handle that, Hector?”

“Yes, master,” Hector said. “I already have some ideas.”

“Good, good. Now, last but not least, we are going to wage a grand war against all vangels. ’Tis past time we destroy these gnats in God’s army. Every single one of them.”

There were cheers and remarks of encouragement at those words:

“We have been too soft on them in the past.”

“We are just as strong as they are, and we need not follow any moral compass.”

“I need to sharpen my blade and season it with demon bane.”

“Poisoned bullets in an AK-47 will work just as well.”

“Wish I still had my ship. I’d have so many vangels walking the plank the seas would be littered with their corpses.”

“Yes, but make sure you get them through the heart first. Don’t let them make it to Purgatory.”

“Is that a real place? I always thought it was a made-up place to appease the Christians.”

“Of course it’s real.”

Jasper clapped his hands to get their attention. Not an easy task when a person had claws. Finally, he shouted, “Attention! There is more.” He turned to his assistant who had a computer open before him. “Beltane, show us the map.”

Immediately, with the click of a few keys (of a special computer keyboard designed to accommodate claws), Beltane was able to project an image on the opposite wall of a world map. It was divided into six different shaded areas. Jasper explained that each of them, himself included, Beltane excluded (not being a fighter of any skill), would be in charge of those regions. The territories were vast, of course, and he was quick to reassure them, “We have more than a thousand Lucipires on hand, fully trained, at the moment. Haakai, mungs, hordlings, and imps. But, in addition, Satan is sending us two thousand more demon warriors. Divided equally, that will put about five hundred Lucipires under each of us. Immediately, after we end this meeting, we must decide who will be the general, lieutenants, etc. among those ranks. I have a young Lucipire who is proficient with computers. Gordon will aid in the logistics of these plans. Do not hesitate to make use of his talents. Also, if we need more demons, Satan will send them to us.”