Page 55 of Truly, Madly Viking

"Are you implying that I am malodorous?"

"Let's just say; Old Spice won't be asking you to do any commercials. I assume they had no deodorants where you were."

"Deodorants? Hah! I was lucky to be able to wash up in the bay with sand and water."

"You'll be lucky if you haven't caught pneumonia."

"New-mown-ya? The only thing I caught in that cold water was seaweed, puny pan fish, and one flounder."

She laughed. She was just so glad to have him back. "While you're shaving and cleaning up, I'll throw your stuff in the washing machine. You look famished. By the time you're through in the bathroom, and have eaten some dinner, the clothes should be dry."

He lifted his eyebrows with interest. "You want me to disrobe? Right now? In front of you?"

"No, Mr. One-track Mind. You can throw your dirty clothes outside the bathroom. It's nice to see you have a sense of humor about this, though."

"I was not jesting." His face was already serious, but now it turned even more serious as he regarded her with an uncertain expression on his face. He was usually so confident. "Was I wrong to come here?"

She hardly hesitated at all. "No, I'm glad you came. But how did you find my house?"

"Hattie gave me directions."

"Hattie?"

"Hattie Lawrence."

Warning bells started clanging inside Maggie's already aching head. "The daughter of Rainbow Hospital's owner?"

"Yea, the selfsame one."

"But... how... when... I don't understand."

"She slipped me a card with her name and telephone number that day they visited the hospital. She said, 'Call me sometime, sugar.' So I did."

Oh, my God! Hattie hit on a patient at the clinic. Hah. Is that any worse than me?

"I called her tonight and said that I was released from the hospital. A small mistruth," he admitted unabashedly. "I told her I was in a phone booth with no book of numbers and could she please look up your address for me. She was very nice."

I'll bet she was. "How did you make a phone call without any money?"

"Oh, I used a phone card."

Maggie was getting a splitting headache the size of Joe's outrageous story. "You have a phone card?"

"Nay. John Lennon lent me his."

"I hate to ask this, but where did you meet John Lennon? Don't tell me he came riding in on a killer whale, too." Or in a yellow submarine , she thought.

"Of course not." He gave her an impatient frown that said she was being silly. "John Lennon is a homeless person who lives near the mission flophouse... leastways, that is what he called it. All he asked in return for my use of the phone card was for me to give peace a chance. Is that not an odd thing to say?"

"A homeless person with a phone card? And his name is John Lennon?"

"'Tis what I said, is it not?" he snapped churlishly. "And, by the by, once I get some coins, I would like to go back and thank him for his services. Mayhap you could even invite John to live at Rainbow Hospital. He thinks he is a beetle, you know. And since you already have Steve the seal and Chuck, who thinks he is every animal in the land, depending on the day of the week, why not a bug as well?" He smiled brightly at her, as if he'd made a brilliant suggestion.

Maggie had to smile, despite herself. Joe certainly put the fun in dysfunctional. But enough of this nonsense! She put her hands on Joe's shoulders and pushed him toward the hallway. "Go!" she ordered.

"Go, take a shower."

"God, I love it when you go Valkyrieish on me. Mayhap it is my destiny to be saddled with a pushy wench."