Page 107 of The Very Virile Viking

"So you recommend a lot of stomping, eh?" Angela asked.

"You can stomp on me anytime you want, sweetling," Magnus told Angela. See, he could be peaceable, too.

"Oh, good Lord! You look at Angela as if she's a piece of candy. It must be true what they say. Some men drink from the fountain of knowledge, but most of them just gargle."

"Nipples, nipples, nipples," he said.

"Dumb, dumb, dumb," Carmen said.

Magnus made a low growling sound in his throat and had to tighten his hands into fists to keep from strangling the witch. Seeing how upset he was getting, Angela handed Lida over to him, probably figuring that with a baby in his arms, he wouldn't commit any violence.

"Dost think you have gotten the last word, Carmen? Well, mayhap so, but just let me end our discussion with this thought: If women knew what men were really thinking, they would ne'er stop slapping us. And my thoughts right now are extremely slappable with regard to you… and not in a lustsome way, either, even with your wanton display of nipples."

Carmen bared her teeth at him and no doubt would have indeed slapped him if Angela hadn't taken him by the upper arm and led him into the building.

"You have to learn to ignore Carmen," Angela told him.

"She does not bother me overmuch," he boasted, now that he had put his back to the irksome gnat.

He should have known that Carmen wouldn't let him go so easily.

"Hey, Magnus," Carmen called to his back. "Do you know why doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?"

He faltered, but continued to walk.

"Don't turn around. Just keep walking," Angela told him. To Carmen, she merely said, "Tsk, tsk, tsk."

"To knock the penises off the smart ones."

"Can I please lop off her head?" he asked Angela. "Or leastways her tongue?"

"No!" Angela shook her head, laughing. He was not certain if she was laughing at Carmen's jest or at him. It mattered not. She was laughing. He would take her good moods any way they were handed to him these days.

So to Angela he said, "Whate'er you say, dearling."

And to Carmen, he said, "Whatever!"

The shock of a lifetime…

They were having a good time this afternoon—a really good time—and that surprised Angela. For some reason all her bitterness and anger toward Magnus had melted away—probably because she had missed him so much this past week—and replacing it was a real joy in just being in his company and that of his children.

This was no group of rank amateurs who had gathered here at the cultural fair. Oh, there were the usual Society of Creative Anachronism types, but even these knew their subjects well. Many of the exhibits were commercially sponsored by jewelers, soap makers, painters, and wood sculptors, but that in no way diminished the quality of the lore and exhibits.

Magnus purchased a beautiful Mexican turquoise pendant for Angela and turquoise beaded necklaces for Dagny, Kirsten, and Lily, and even a turquoise brooch in a sterling silver setting for Carmen, who accepted it grudgingly, not really wanting to be beholden to Magnus.

Hamr and Njal got Native American feathered headdresses, but were not entirely happy because their father refused to add hatchets to the ensembles. Lida was already wearing the soft leather moccasins Magnus had acquired from the same Indian tribe. He bought Torolf a handworked leather vest made by Eskimos. Storvald was practically ecstatic over the carved and painted Mallard duck created by some group purporting to represent American frontiersmen. Kolbein kept rubbing a softly woven Scottish plaid throw blanket against his face. Jogeir, who had stayed behind at Blue Dragon, still recuperating from his operation, would be delighted with the Chinese gazing ball that would be his gift.

Angela had made some purchases, too, including a Scottish plaid kilt for Magnus. When he'd asked her if that meant she would be letting him model it for her, she answered honestly, "I don't know."

Carmen came up to them just as they were about to go out the back door. She told them that there were dozens of exhibitors outdoors, especially those with large products, or those who had working craftsmen at their booths. Plus, the SCA was staging a number of events there, including a Highlander log-throw contest, a performance by Lippizaner stallions, kung fu demonstrations, and even a mock battle between the Saxons and the Vikings. Angela was excited to see how Magnus and his kids would react to these modern re-enactments of his people. The children ran off ahead of them, but she and Magnus were slowed down by Lida, who was balking at the stroller and wanted to walk herself.

Just then Torolf came back and stammered out, " Faðir." His face was white and his hands were shaking. " Faðir," he repeated.

"What is it? What happened?"

Torolf, who appeared to be speechless, waved a hand in the air to indicate everyone was okay. "You will not believe this. I have found a most unusual display… shipbuilding… longship building."

Magnus shoved his son aside and looked ahead of him to where a very tall man wearing Viking attire stood staring at him, mouth agape with shock. He had an adze in one hand and a chisel in the other, which he proceeded to drop, just before shouting, "Magnus!"