Page 12 of Grumpy Santa

Audrey rubs her hands together. “Ooh! Skeletons? That sounds interesting.”

“Trust me. It’s not. Just an ordinary tale of a girl with a crush on her best friend’s boyfriend. It was a classic girl-likes-boy, boy-is-too-nice-and-unwittingly-leads-her-on story.”

I release a breath.

Audrey’s elbow jabs me in the side. “What?”

“That’s not how I remember it, is all.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure my memories are more vivid. Seeing how it was my life,” Felicity argues.

I snort. “It didn’t happen the way you think it did.”

“Oh, so you think you know something I don’t?”

I shrug.

“Okay, fine, oh, wise and all-knowing Jared, tell me what really happened.”

“All-knowing Jared,” Audrey repeats with a chortle. I’m ready to turn to her and remind her just how all knowing I am when it comes to her body and how and where to touch her.

the conclusion…

chapter seven

Audrey

Current time…

I lean against the passenger side door, gripping my phone. My instructions are to take it easy—maybe no more ladders, and to ice my knee. I also got a prescription for prenatal vitamins because I’m pregnant.

Let’s all take a hot minute to let that soak in.

I’m pregnant.

Per-reg-nant.

My oven has been bunned.

My up has been knocked.

It’s inconceivable. Or rather conceived.

How did this happen? I mean, yes. I know how. But I’d been told over and over again that it might never happen for me and that if it did happen, it would take a lot of work and special treatments and weird diets involving slimey foods and odorous teas that some “expert” said might help. (Trust me when I tell you there’s a lot of bizarro information online about it.)

I thought getting pregnant would be a full-time job.

But nope. Apparently all I needed was Jared and his super sperm?

Oh! What are my parents gonna say?

They’ll be happy. Of course they will. But they’ll also be disappointed that I’m not married and that I won’t be getting married any time soon.

I feel fairly certain Jared is going to ask—or demand—that we tie the knot because that’s just the kind of man he is. But having a baby with him is one thing. Being in a one-sided marriage with him is quite another.

I sneak a glance at his stoic features while he drives. He’s quiet, as usual. Jared isn’t much of a talker. It’s never bothered me that he’s not chatty. Not like his friend, Garrett, who is most definitely a talker. With Jared, things are comfortable. He speaks when he has something to say; the rest of the time he’s content to listen.

I sigh. Why does he have to be so handsome and such a good, good guy?