Page 62 of Logan’s Acadian Wolves

“Do you have any idea what I’ve been through over the past two months?” Logan asked rhetorically, well aware she couldn’t possibly comprehend the struggle he’d endured. The low calm of his voice was edged in a controlled indignation. “My friend, Marcel. We grew up together, spent a lifetime as friends. He was Tristan’s brother, but they both are my family in every sense of the word. Two months ago, I sat with his blood on my hands. I watched as the life drained from his eyes.”

Logan coughed, sucking back his emotions. Enough tears had been shed. “And minutes before that, do you know what I did, Wyn?”

She quietly shook her head.

“I killed a man…with my own hands. Not as wolf. As a man. That death is on my hands.” He held his palms upward, staring at them as if they were dripping in blood.

“That night, I vowed to Marcel that I’d lead his pack, to take care of his wolves. Marcel begged me…I didn’t want this, to be Alpha. My role as beta was comfortable, respected. I loved Tristan. It isn’t something I did lightly,” he reflected, placing his palms down on the table. “But it is done. For the last two months, I’ve fought challenges. Bloody, ripped up fur and bruises, week after week.”

“Logan,” Wynter gasped quietly. What had he been through?

“I may’ve vowed to be Alpha. But I also earned it. I paid in blood. I paid in sleepless nights. And only this week as I completed my last challenge, I threatened the next wolf who challenges me with death. Do you know what that means, Wyn?”

Wynter could guess but dared not speak it aloud. She remembered the conversation she’d had with Logan about how Fiona’s father had died…in a challenge.

“The next wolf who challenges me is dead,” he stated emotionlessly. “I cannot tolerate any more instability. For the sake of the pack, the acceptance of my reign must continue. Every time there is a challenge, the pack becomes unsettled. Volatile. It isn’t good for them. Or me.”

“I’m sorry. Logan, I didn’t understand. I don’t know what that has to do with us, though.”

“It has everything to do with you. Me. Us. Our mating. Today, when you left,” he growled, shaking his head in disapproval. “I was so angry. Angry you’d left me to go with Jax. He’s unmated. And whoever else you were with was too.”

“But how did you know? I didn’t…”

“I could smell them on you when you got home. Goddess, Wyn.”

“So because you marked me and you’ve decided we’re mates, I can’t even go with my family? Are you kidding me?”

“It isn’t just that, Wyn. Aside from the fact that you are very much in danger, I had specifically asked you to stay. Granted, I didn’t order you as your Alpha. But I came damn close. And you…how could you not see that I needed you to stay so we could talk? I get that you’re not wolf, but any she-wolf would have never left her mate…not until she’d claimed him for her own. Not only did you disrespect me by telling me no and going off with Jax, it was as if your wolf rejected mine by leaving.”

“I’m sorry, but you’ve got to understand that I’m…”

“Human,” he finished her words. “Yes, yes you are. But not for long, Wyn. The full moon beckons and even if you choose to deny our mating, you’ll have to learn to live within your nature.”

Frustrated, Logan loosened his tie, took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He stood at the head of the table; his fingers grasped the back of the chair. The animal in him wanted to throw the damn thing, smash it into kindling. But it was not all who he was. He closed his eyes, willing his wolf to calm.

He took a deep breath and blew it out. “I can’t do this. Either you need to accept your wolf or I…I don’t know. I just know that I’ve worked too damn hard to become Alpha. Wolves depend on me. And it isn’t just the fact that when I get angry or hurt, the pack feels it. If anyone besides Dimitri had seen what you did today, disrespecting me, blatantly denying my request to stay…it’ll lead to a challenge. I can’t have that happen. Not over us, anyway.”

“But I’d never do that on purpose. It’s not like I set out to hurt you or the pack today.” She ran her fingers through her hair, nervously twisting at it. “God, Logan can’t you see what this is doing to me?”

“The bottom line is this. If there’s another challenge, I will kill someone. And while I won’t hesitate to do it, that wolf is someone’s brother, husband, son,” he said softly, contemplating what it’d be like to kill again.

Wynter stood and crossed the kitchen, resting her hands onto the countertop. “Please just hear me out. No matter how hard I try, I don’t know what it’s like. I’m not a wolf.” She rubbed her hand over her reddening eyes. “I don’t want to cause anyone’s death. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m so afraid and confused. But there is one thing I know…I want you…like I’ve never wanted anyone.”

Logan approached Wynter, placing his hand on either side of her waist, gripping the cold stone. “And I want you too, sweetheart. But we cannot go on like this. I’m damn sorry someone did this to you, changed you to wolf. You’ve barely had time to recover from your captivity, let alone adjust to your new…situation. But I can’t put my pack in danger. Lots of lives depend on me. I cannot fail them. I get that it is not fair, but you need to decide.”

“Decide what, Logan?” She clasped onto the sides of his shirt in desperation. “I’m scared out of my mind. I don’t want to hurt anyone but I don’t know how to be wolf. I don’t know the rules. I can’t do this. I don’t know how. I’m sorry, I can’t…”

Wynter fell to her knees crying, still clawing at his clothing. She’d let her head fall against his shins. Logan wrapped his hands around her arms and brought her up into his embrace, supporting her.

“Wynter, this is not who you are, sweetheart. You can do this. You are strong, not broken. You will learn how to submit within the pack while remaining fiercely independent. You will run as wolf, but maintain your humanity. I promise you to help you shift; support you in everything you do for the rest of your life. But this decision must be yours, not mine.” Logan held her tightly. His own tears brimmed; he needed his mate. Please Goddess, do not let her give up.

Struggling to catch her breath, Wynter swore Logan was doing something to calm her. His scent, his touch, his aura, everything that was of his essence protectively encased her body and heart. Her wolf howled, begging her to run free with her mate. On the verge of collapse, Wynter steeled her resolve. A fighter. Yes, that’s who she was. Tonight, however, she was a lover, Logan’s mate. Trembling in his arms, she raised her chin to meet his eyes.

“I choose you. Us. This makes no sense to the part of my mind that demands data, evidence and all the other things that I’ve learned in my years as a scientist,” she breathed, placing her hand to his heart. “But my heart. My wolf. I need you.”

Logan sighed in relief, pressing a kiss to her head. “You sure, baby? Because I’m ready to start this right now…to teach you what it means to be wolf.”

“I’m sure.” All her senses on alert, she’d fully committed to doing whatever it took to learn how to be wolf, to be Logan’s mate.