Page 55 of Playing By Ear

“Ironic, a musician being the muse.” Perry moved forward and kissed him.

Jamie let the kiss stay soft and sweet, and when it ended, he snuggled his head against Perry’s shoulder, keeping things low-key. “So why are you called Falcon84? I assume 84 is your birth year? Is Falcon your favorite Avenger?”

“He is, but that’s not why. Perry is short for Peregrine, as in peregrine falcon.”

“Peregrine Hull.” Jamie liked the way it rolled off his tongue.

“In my family, retinitis pigmentosa is genetically dominant, so my parents knew there was a 50% chance I’d get Mum’s condition. They named me after a bird famous for its good vision, I suppose as a talisman against blindness. Didn’t work, obviously.”

“It worked for a long time, though, aye?”

“True, I was fortunate to have excellent sight into my twenties.” His voice turned animated. “Did you know peregrine falcons are the fastest animals in the world? When they dive to strike prey, they can fly 200 miles per hour.”

“Wow,” Jamie said.

“They also have the world’s fastest visual-processing speed.”

“Meaning?”

“When you see a film, you’re actually seeing a series of still frames, about 24 per second. Any slower and it looks jittery. For a falcon to see a film as a film instead of a series of stills, the projector would have to run at 129 frames per second.”

“You trying to turn me on again?”

“Always. Is it working?”

“Always.”

“Enough about me, though,” Perry said. “How was your visit with your father?”

Jamie had pondered how much he could safely reveal about Martin MacKray. Ultimately he’d decided to focus on how it felt to be with him, since that was likely what Perry most wanted to hear—and what Jamie most needed to share.

“Being with him is confusing. I know he’s a terrible person, and yet from moment to moment, he can be so…”

“Charming?”

“No—well, yes, but he knows I’m immune to that. What I mean is, he’s still just Dad. Even with the brain tumor, and even with…the way he can be with other people.”

“What way is that?”

Jamie searched for a single summary word. “Brutal.”

Perry tensed. “Did he ever hurt you? Or your sister?”

“No, not directly. Never even threatened us. We were—I mean, we are—special. Like, designated nonrecipients of his badness.” Jamie was teetering on the edge, nearly giving the whole game away. He wanted to give the game away, for Perry to know who he was and still somehow accept him. But it was far too soon. “I suppose that’s how it is with a lot of men. Kind to their families but perfect bastards to everyone else. Or the other way round.”

“It must be hard, having someone close to you be two different people.” Perry stroked the back of his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

A new tightness gripped Jamie’s chest. Was this what it was like to open up one’s heart for another to peek at?

This spot here under the coronary artery, that’s where Dad pistol-whipped my best mate’s big brother after catching him double-dealing.

And this corner of the left ventricle is where I overheard him laughing with Uncle Raymond about how they’d garroted a man with his own rosary.

As for the entire right atrium…well, don’t look there, ever.

“Thanks,” Jamie said when he realized he’d zoned out without acknowledging Perry’s sympathy. “He invited me to Easter dinner.”

“Is that good?”