Page 58 of Playing By Ear

“It shouldn’t be a miracle when disabled people have accomplishments. Also, it makes us feel we’ve got to be perfect so as not to tarnish the able-bodied person’s inspiration.”

“Makes sense.” Jamie jotted a mental note to avoid the I word. “Still, confessing you’re a cam model to a man you’d just met? That’s fucking ballsy, blind or not.”

“Ballsy. I’ll allow it.” Perry offered an indulgent smirk as he reached for his tea. “I suppose I sensed you wouldn’t judge. And if you did judge, I’d have wasted only a week of my life dating you.”

“But what if I’d telt someone?”

Perry jutted his chin at Jamie. “You’ve got your own secrets, so I assumed you’d respect mine.”

“True.” Jamie felt a pang of guilt for not being more open about his family. “You’re a good judge of character.”

“I have to be.” Perry’s voice had hardened. He tapped his glasses. “Know what I mean?”

“Right.” Jamie didn’t know what else to say, so he focused on his breakfast. Was he uneasy because he’d never been so close to a man, especially after one short week? Or was it Perry’s camming gig, or even his disability?

All of the above, probably, but if Jamie was honest, it was mostly the latter. As a blind man, Perry was more vulnerable to danger, including from people like the MacKrays. Was Jamie protecting him by keeping him in the dark, as it were, or was he putting him even more at risk?

“I’ve been thinking about your Easter dilemma,” Perry said.

“Oh?”

“It’s none of my business, of course, but reconnecting with your whole family might make caring for your dad easier. At some point you’ll need help, and it would be good to have them to call on.”

The thought of asking for help from anyone but Belinda made Jamie’s stomach twitch. “I don’t know if I could do that.”

Perry furrowed his brow. “When you walked away from your father, what did you tell the rest of your family, apart from your sister?”

“I…” Jamie’s throat felt like it would seal shut around the bite of toast he’d just swallowed. “I told them nothing.” He stared through his plate as shame filled him. “I didn’t even say goodbye.”

“I’m sure you did what felt right at the time. Maybe you thought if you’d seen them one last time, you would’ve been sucked back in.”

“I know I would’ve been. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t a wee shit for fucking off without a word.” How his aunties must have cried.

“Jamie, you were sixteen. Legally an adult, but surely to them you were still a child. They’ll have forgiven you.”

“What if they haven’t? What if I walk in there Sunday and they read me the riot act? What if the whole holiday turns into a fight?”

“Then you’ll handle it.”

Jamie blinked. He’d expected Perry to dismiss his fears, or tell him to be a hard man and suck it up. Instead he was simply showing faith.

“All right, then.” His skin gave one last shimmy of trepidation. “If you believe I can do it, then I’ll have a go.” He put his hand over Perry’s. “Thank you.”

Perry squeezed his hand, then toasted him with his mug. “You’re very welcome.”

Jamie tried to smile but failed. Let’s hope so.

Chapter 11

Jamie waved goodbye to his Uber driver, then strode up to the front gate of his father’s home. He punched in the code and pushed open the gate without hesitation. Anyone surveilling him from the house would see no fear.

He didn’t want to be here for Easter dinner, but he was going to make the best of it. There’d no doubt be interrogation from all sides of the family, but he’d planned what to say, where to draw his lines of privacy to protect Perry.

And to compensate for being cagey, he would take full part in the festivities. Let the aunties pinch his cheeks, let the uncles give him football pointers. He had even brought a £15 bottle of wine as a token of⁠—

Fuck.

“Wait!” Jamie spun around and waved his arms at the driver, who was already speeding down the road, the wine still in its bag on the floor of the back seat.