Page 25 of Hostile Saint

“I took the brothers on! All four of them! Purposely, toward the end to protect Lacey!” I sneered, “I did the best I could.”

Lynx put his cigarette out in a glass ashtray. “No one is accusing you of not protecting your girl. I promise. But your fear of these assholes runs too deep. There’s somethin’ you’re not telling me.”

Propping my elbows on the table, I aggressively rubbed at my forehead with all ten of my agitated fingers. “Why am I getting angry?” My emotions were so erratic; I felt like I was getting into multiple car accidents, one right after another.

Dagger took a turn. “Personally, I think there are two reasons. One? For the very first time since your dad passed, you don’t have to be afraid. Two:” He exhaled, his voice softening, “I think you don’t want to consider that you did all this for a woman who isn’t even searching for her missing child.”

I slammed my hands against my forehead and stayed there as I groaned, “It can’t be true.”

Lynx’s voice resonated with compassion and leadership. “Someone finally has your back again, kid. Now there’s room to get mad. You’re gonna need that anger to get through this. Take advantage of having the chance to see your situation from another point of view.”

Point of view…

One finger lifted from my forehead to point to him. “Your point of view?”

He nodded, as if pleased. “Yeah, kid. Mine.”

Inhaling for strength and courage to allow these men to keep teaching me, I nodded, too, trying to voice that I could handle more, even though I was truly nervous that I couldn’t.

With an expression that said he respected my willingness, Lynx continued, “You see a woman in need of protection. I, as someone from the outside looking in, can’t help but wonder how a mom—who can’t afford to feed a son—can afford to put her two other sons through college.”

Blink. Blink.

Well, shit. Due to unwanted sorrow in my heart, I rubbed at my chest.

Knowing he was getting somewhere with me, Lynx nodded while changing his stare to look out into the backyard. “Another example? I’ll bet your brothers each had a car.”

I cringed because, in fact, they did. Newer ones compared to the heap I was eventually given because my mom didn’t have time to drive me to school.

I guess my not answering was the answer. Again, Lynx nodded, his eyes squinting against the sun. “I’m really sorry about my next question.”

Under the table, my knee started to bounce.

“Do you think you had a different dad than them?”

My lips parted and moved, but no words came out. Yet, as if taking advantage of the opportunity to help me see, my mind raced to that scenario. Not only did my brothers detest the man, but there were more obvious traits, such as my light blond hair; theirs was dark brown. My dark blue eyes; theirs were light blue. Me outgrowing their shorter stockier builds.

Neither brother of mine looked anything like my tall father.

Unexpected loneliness seeped into my spirit. The possibility that Damien and Crow were only my half-brothers and were terrible to me, I wondered if I actually had brothers at all. Were evil ones better than none?

Lynx let a finger toy with his pack of cigarettes. “Your dad was a good man, wasn’t he?”

Fighting down emotions, I nodded repeatedly. “Yes. Always kind.”

“That must be why you are still good, and not rotten like your brothers.”

Was Lynx implying my mother was to blame for their wicked ways? Did that mean I had a chance of becoming cruel, too?

My eyes slid shut. “I only had him for a short amount of time. What if—”

“You look at me. Right now.”

My eyes opened.

Lynx was with a stern pointed finger. “You. Are. Good. Got it?”

I swallowed. “Got it.”