Page 44 of Gold and Good Sense

Was she happy? She couldn’t tell. All she could really feel was shock. A gentleman wished for her company! And not just any gentleman. A judge! A man who had seen far more of the world than Mary could even imagine.

Still, she was glad she had time before she needed to give an answer. This was no love match, where she could allow herself to run away with her feelings. Judge Darcy was a highly respectable man, and tying her life to his would undoubtedly require enormous compromises on her part as well as shifts in her perspective of what a wife should be.

Yes. The next two weeks would do her good. She would have a chance to get to know Judge Darcy as well as what he expected of her if they were to marry.

Mary breathed in deeply as she pulled away from the door she was leaning on. She squared her shoulders and headed for the front parlor where she was certain her sisters and Mrs. Jamison were all dying of curiosity.

Chapter 24

The day after Mary’s proposal from Judge Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet went for a long walk by herself. It was a perfect day. The temperature was warm enough to not require a cloak but cool enough to take away the heat of vigorous exercise. The air had that crisp clean smell that only comes in the autumn after rain, which had fallen overnight. Additionally, the trees everywhere were shades of red, orange, and yellow, giving a golden glow to the usually green landscape.

In short, the outside was calling to her, and she could do nought but answer the call.

Elizabeth set off at a brisk pace, aiming directly for Oakham Mount. She didn’t walk there very often, since it was more than two miles away. The journey there and back again was nearly five miles in total, a walk that was daunting even to Elizabeth. Today, however, was the perfect day for such a venture.

As she walked, her thoughts flowed freely, not really lingering on one topic more than another. Memories of her time in London helping a truly happy Lady Esther choose wedding clothes; images of her father’s wedding with Papa smiling more happily than she could ever recall; confusion over Mary’s sudden receipt of a proposal from Judge Darcy. All this and more wandered through her mind, but none of them lingered. None of them could compete with the glory of such a wonderful autumn day for her attention.

There was one thought, however, that did manage to distract her occasionally, and it was a thought that kept returning no matter how many times she dismissed it.

Mr. Darcy.

It was a subject she had not been able to escape from except during the worst of her mourning for her lost mother.

The odd thing was that she simply missed his company. He was only one of dozens of people she had met in London, but he was the only one she truly missed. Her sadness at his absence was made all the more painful by the fact that she knew she was at fault for sending him away.

For that was exactly what she had done.

She had flung a handful of accusations in his face and refused to listen to his defense on any of them, and she now knew for certain he could have defended himself quite well against at least one of them.

The other accusations she had aimed at him, while not unfounded, were not nearly severe enough to have warranted such anger as she had shown. Of course he would hesitate to offer marriage to someone who had led a completely different life than the one he had led. Of course he would hesitate to connect himself to those whose condition in life was so decidedly below his own.

The fact was that he had overcome all of that. He would accept all of her family, if only she had agreed to marry him.

That did not mean she necessarily should have accepted his offer. It remained to be seen whether he had learned to respect her family and her circumstances or merely tolerate them. But she had not even given him a chance to clarify. She had sent him on his way almost entirely because of her anger over Jane’s apparent heartbreak.

Truly what she regretted the most, and this might have been the case even if he had been the one to separate Jane and Mr. Bingley, was the loss of his company. There was something comforting and strong about his height and handsome figure. There was something personal and secret in how his eyes were warm only for her. There was something interesting and intriguing in almost everything he said.

She missed him. It was truly that simple.

Eventually, with all these thoughts flitting in and out her head, Elizabeth reached Oakham Mount and began her climb. It was enough exertion that there was truly no room left for thought. By the time she reached the top of the hill, she was quite grateful to sit down on the large tree stump that had been left there, specifically to accommodate visitors.

She took in the scene below her: the fields in varying states of harvest, the spots of forest that were aglow with the colors of flames, the paths and lanes that wound among the fields, and the little houses which dotted the landscape.

It was beautiful, and the sight soothed her soul.

Her reverie was brought to an abrupt halt by the sound of a horse slowly climbing the hill behind her. She did not wish to have her solitude disturbed, and for a moment she was sorely tempted to leave before the new visitor came into view.

She gave up on the idea fairly quickly, however. The visitor was coming from the direction she would need to go to descend from the hill. Going in any other direction would add at least fifteen minutes to her journey home. Besides, she truly was fatigued from walking here, and she simply was not ready to return.

Elizabeth attempted to ignore the sounds of the horse approaching, hoping that whoever it was would realize that she was not inclined for company.

“Miss Elizabeth!” cried the one voice that could change her mind completely. “I was not aware you would be so far from home,” said Mr. Darcy. “I mean that I did not mean to intrude upon your solitude.”

He turned to go, but that was the one thing Elizabeth could not bear. Finally, she would have a chance to apologize, and she could not let the opportunity slip through her fingers.

“Please wait,” she said. “I admit that you may be intruding, but that does not mean that the intrusion is unwelcome. Please, Mr. Darcy, join me.”

He turned back toward her, his expression a mixture of hope and sadness. “If you are certain,” he said. He tethered his horse to a tree then approached the place where she was now standing.