Page 34 of Shattered Dreams

It doesn’t take long for his breathing to even out again, and I listen to it for a while before falling asleep myself.

When I wake up, there is a lot less space between us. We’re nearly touching. And it’s not because of me. In his sleep, he gravitated toward me, but I should have expected that since he always did move around a lot in his sleep. Apparently some things never change.

Chuckling to myself, I get up, noting the house is quiet. Still. I peak up the stairs but dare not go up there and wake the little demons. If I thought Rylee had a lot of energy, Maddox has more. And two kids are so much more chaotic than one, hands down.

I take the moment to enjoy the silence, knowing it won’t last, so I start on breakfast. Chocolate chip muffins from scratch. Paul’s got a bit of a chocolate addiction, and cooking isn’t something I’m great at, but there are a few things I can whip up that are pretty good. Muffins are one of those things.

Victoria used to love them.

I’m just sliding them into the oven when Rylee comes downstairs, her hair a wild mess, with Bacon J. Ham dangling from her hand.

“Morning, pumpkin,” I say, lifting her up to give her a hug and a kiss.

She wraps her arms around my neck, Bacon J. Ham knocking into me.

“Morning,” she grumbles. “What are you making?”

“Chocolate chip muffins. That okay?”

“Yes,” she says with a smile as I set her back down. She rubs her eyes and yawns before asking, “Can I have some milk?”

“Of course.” I get her a cup of milk, and she takes it to the living room, quietly grabbing the remote and putting on cartoons. I stare at her for a long time, just sitting there, sipping her milk, hugging her stuffed pig, and smiling at the TV so innocently and genuinely.

She’s so precious. My little angel. I don’t know where I would be without her. She looks so much like Victoria right now, with that effortless smile. She’s a lot like her mother, actually. Sometimes I think the only thing she got from me was her eyes and her stubbornness.

My chest aches, thinking about my late wife. I don’t think that will ever go away, but it does get easier and doesn’t hurt as badly as it used to. At one point, I couldn’t breathe thinking about her. We weren’t together long and everything moved so quickly for us. Some people thought it was too fast, but when you know, you just know. Now? It all seems like a lifetime ago, and a blink of an eye other times. I’ll always miss her, that’s obvious, but the pain? It’s become bearable, even when I thought it never would be. Because I have Rylee.

Maddox wakes up next, going to sit with Rylee on the couch to watch TV.

Paul doesn’t get up until the kids have already eaten and are off getting dressed and ready for the day ahead.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” I say with a smirk, offering him a muffin when he shuffles over with his eyes half shut. His hair sticks out in tufts, and he grunts as he swipes the muffin from my hand, taking a seat at the island. He gives me a knowing look as he bites into it. A low groan of relief escapes him.

“Oh my God, chocolate? Did you make these from scratch?” he asks. I don’t miss the surprise in his voice.

“Yup.”

“Shit, these are so good. I can’t bake anything that doesn’t come from a box,” he says with a chuckle.

“It’s not that hard, but I hear Betty Crocker is pretty good.” I shrug as I make him a cup of coffee, placing it in front of him. He devours the last bite with another groan, then sips the coffee.

“And the coffee’s good, too.” He moans.

I can’t help but smile from his momentary praise.

“Maddox said he wants to go to my parents’ with Rylee, as long as you’re okay with it.”

He nods. “Yeah, that’s probably not a bad idea. I’m sure he’d have more fun over there with Rylee, anyway.”

“I think so too. I also think we should go do something. You know, while the kids are gone.”He raises a brow. “Like what?”

I shrug. “Don’t know. I need some groceries.”

“You want to go grocery shopping together?” He grins and I laugh.

“Actually, yes,” I say. “I need to know what you both like to eat so I can stock the fridge and pantry.”

That turns his smile into a frown, but it’s true, whether he likes it or not. I do need to know what sort of stuff they like since they will be staying here until he figures out what he is doing next. I know this situation isn’t easy for him, and I want to make it as easy as I can. I don’t want him to have to worry about things like dinner or furniture. I want to help.