Page 44 of Shattered Dreams

It’s not a lie, but it’s not the entire truth, either. But what can I tell her? That Dre and I are… what? Making out in his bed? Yeah, I’m sure that will go over well. Knowing my ex-wife, she’d ask me a hundred questions and want every single detail and receipt, and I’m not sure I even know how to answer her, let alone myself at the moment.

“Can I talk to Maddox?”

I tense.

“Um… he’s not… here… at the moment.”

“What do you mean? Where is he? Is he in the bathroom?” Amelia’s voice tenses.

“Please tell me you didn’t let him go to the track,” she says with worry.

“No, he’s with Dre’s parents. Rylee spends a night or two there. They offered to take Maddox, too, you know… keep his mind off stuff. He wanted to go.”

Amelia hums, the relief in her voice evident. “Oh, okay. That was nice of them.”

“Yeah, they are good people. Talked to him last night; he sounded like he was having a great time.”

There’s a strange sort of tightness in my chest at those words. Not because I miss him—which I do, of course—but because part of me feels guilty that I can’t give him the same kind of experiences, even if I wanted to. And part of me feels like a failure because I feel like I’m just making things worse by letting him experience these moments, knowing they won’t be repeated or routine, like they are for Rylee.

“Our flight’s scheduled to depart at five. By the time we get in, get the car, it’ll be around nine.”

“Right… your flight back is today,” I say, falling onto the bed. I lean back and stare up at the ceiling. Dre’s side of the bed is still warm where my hand rests, and I swear if I close my eyes, I can pretend he’s here, and it feels a little better.

“Did you forget?” she asks curiously.

“No,” I lie. I didn’t forget.

Guess my mind completely crashed out when Dre kissed me.

“You want me to bring him by tomorrow morning?” I ask.

“No, Sean says we can swing by on the way back and grab him. Save you a trip. I’m sure you’re exhausted. You’ve had a long week.”

I hate how she knows me so well. Hate that she is so understanding and caring. even though she doesn’t have to be.

I wouldn’t say Amelia and I were ever close, even in college. We were both in a lot of the same classes since she was studying kinesthesiology, so we gravitated towards one another, if only so class wouldn’t be so lonely or awkward. And I guess in some ways, she’s still trying to make things less awkward, except now it really does feel weird because Amelia knows me too well. And her motherly desire to help me or make things easier for me, when I should be the one making things easier for her…

Before I can answer her, she clears her throat.

“You… are still at Dre’s right?”

I nod, even though she can’t see me. “Yeah.”

I’m in his bed. Where we’ve been sleeping together for the last few days.

Where I kissed him, moments ago…

“Cool. I’ll call you when we’re close,” she says.

I let out a low huff. “Yeah, sounds good.”

Just as I move to hang up, Amelia’s voice stops me.

“It’s going to be okay, you know,” she says softly. “We’ll figure this out.”

I don’t argue with her because I can’t.

I also don’t know if I believe her, because everything seems so completely upside down right now, I don’t know how in the hell I’m going to get things back to the way they are supposed to be.