Page 46 of Shattered Dreams

I swear waiting for his answer is actually killing me.

“Yes,” he says solidly, and I breathe a sound of relief just as we pull up to the Taylor’s. This conversation might be over right now, but it certainly won’t be forgotten. Just like I don’t think I’ll ever forget what his lips felt like on mine. Not in a million years.

“Okay, then.”

Andre lets out a breath. “Okay, then.”

I feel like we’re both agreeing that this won’t be the last time. And though that should feel weird, it doesn’t.

I really wish I could kiss him right now. But I can't, because as soon as the car is in park, the kids are running towards it, shrieking and laughing, and before I know it they’re piling in and talking a mile a minute.

Though, if there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that I’m already anticipating the next kiss... and maybe even a little more if that’s what he wants.

Because I’m starting to think I do.

Chapter Seventeen

Andre

School starts soon, so it’s important to get the kids back on a schedule. I’m working on getting Rylee into a good routine to start school, since this will be her first year and she hasn’t had to do this before. I’m helping her learn to tell time; this way she knows when she needs to do things, like shower and go to bed.

It’s been pretty easy for me. Rylee is my only kid, and she’s with me all the time. But I see Paul struggling a bit with trying to get Maddox back on a schedule. Him and Amelia have been on the same page with parenting Maddox, but co-parenting is a struggle regardless. He’s allowed to stay up later, which Rylee doesn’t understand—okay, she understands, she just doesn’t agree with it.

She’s also more stubborn on the nights Maddox isn’t around. They’ve grown close over the summer, especially since they’ve moved in, and I love that for her. It’s exactly what she needs. I’m happy she’ll be starting school and will make more friends, especially around her age. Maddox is definitely like a big brother to her, but it’s important for her to be around friends that are growing and developing the way she is.

I have an interview next week for a gym teacher position and coach at the high school. It feels weird to go through this process after so long, but I need to do what’s best for me and my daughter.

Coaching an NFL team is not something you give up on a whim. I hate that I had to do it, but you make sacrifices when you have a family, and this is one of them. Maybe one day, when Rylee gets older, I can go back to it. Right now, this is just what I need to do and that’s okay.

It’s been a busy week keeping the kids busy and managing this schedule thing. With Amelia back, Maddox hasn’t been around as much. On the nights he isn’t here, Paul is still around. He eats dinner with us. Goes out with us. Watches movies with us. Plays games with us.

It’s like we’ve created our own little family. Everything works, feels right and normal. He’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and he’s always been around, so it all makes sense we’d fit so easily. Now, it’s just in a different capacity. In a way that I’m finding slightly confusing for myself. Probably because I’m thinking about it too much.

To everyone, we look like two friends hanging out. But for me, it’s more than that and I think he feels it too. There’s a tension between us now. Nothing bad. It’s actually very good. Electric. Almost impossible to ignore. But we have been ignoring it and I’m not really sure why. Every night over the last week, since that kiss, something has happened to make it impossible for us to do it again. Like the universe’s way to tell us to slow down.

One night, we both fell asleep on the couch. Two nights ago, I fell asleep in bed with Rylee because she was saying it was too early to sleep and needed me to read her more bedtime stories.

Another night, the kids wanted to camp out in the living room, so we made forts and had tents set up. That one night turned into two.

But now it’s Friday again, and the kids are going to my parents'. Rylee still wants to keep this routine with them, and of course they love that. Maddox is always welcome, and he enjoys being over there too. The more family, the better.

We drive over there together to drop them off. My parents ask if we want to stay for dinner, but we both decline. I’m eager to get home and be alone with Paul. Have the opportunity for another kiss to happen—or more. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

I’ve caught him looking at me quite a few times, and I’m pretty sure he’s thinking the same thing.

He said he’d do it again, and of course that could have changed, but I won’t know until we get back to the house.

We hug and kiss the kids goodbye, and they run off to play.

“Have a good night, boys,” my mother says with a smile.

“You too,” we call out as we head out the door and into the car.

“Freedom,” I say as we buckle our seatbelts.

Paul lets out a laugh that sounds almost nervous.

“Hey, you good?” I ask, turning to face him.