Page 93 of Shattered Dreams

I frown.

“No, I—” I shake my head. “I’ve been focused on New Haven because they came to me.”

She nods knowingly. “Because they made you feel good. Because they wanted you because you’re good. Honey, any college would be so lucky to have you, and if you tried, maybe you’d be surprised at how badly other programs want you too. Maybe even more. Except, maybe they were respecting your decision to take a break.”

Now I feel like an idiot, getting all caught up in attention. Stupid attention.

I still haven’t fully decided not to go though.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Paul

The last place I ever thought I’d end up is home.

Well, what used to be home.

Though I can’t bring myself to get out of Amelia’s driveway, even though she has already gone inside, and I’ve been sitting in the dark for nearly a half hour.

Part of me hates that I called her—my ex-wife. Me spiraling and being a dumbass is not what she or Maddox needs. But… I didn’t have anyone else who understands like she does—or anyone else to call.

It’s not like I could call Dre to come rescue me when he’s the one who’s responsible for breaking me in the first place.

I let out a long sigh, my head hitting the steering wheel as tears spill down my face, and then I see the light of the door. A shadow looms, but only for a second, and then the spotlights come on and the shadow disappears.

“You can come inside, you know. You don’t have to sit out here like an idiot.”

I glance at Amelia, her hair pulled back in a messy bun, standing at the car window in her pajamas.

“Nope. You’re wrong.” I sniffle. “I am an idiot. I’m such a fucking—”

She opens the door, but I don’t move. I can’t. All I can do is think about Dre and the look on his face when he saw me. When he walked through that door.

There are so many things in life I’ve lost, people I’ve disappointed.

My parents. Amelia. Even my son, to an extent.

But I never, not in a million years, thought Dre would be on that list.

Amelia leans against the side of my car, and for a moment, it’s silent, before she says, “What happened?”

I don’t know what to say. My head is a mess. I’m angry, I’m upset, and I know I’m being reckless and stupid, but…

“I love him,” I say, my voice twisted in a choked sob and broken whisper.

“Paul…”

The tears come like rain.

“I love him, and he’s leaving.”

Amelia lets out a low sigh, and then I feel her pull me up and wrap her arms around me. Stupidly, I let my head fall on her shoulder, a loud sob tearing through me.

For a moment we just stand there, me crying like an idiot in my ex-wife’s arms like some bad soap opera.

But what’s worse is that I don’t feel better. I feel like I’ve messed up good this time. Like I’ve pushed away the one person who has always had my back and supported me because I wanted him to choose me and Maddox and our life over what he lost. Over the lights and notoriety and the fancy accolades.

“Come on.” Amelia sighs, rubbing my back.