Page 40 of Bonds of Shame, Bonds of Lust

Janice slid in beside me. "So?"

I exhaled slowly. "It's intense. It keeps surprising me. But it feels—" I searched for the word. "Honest. Like Ricardo said."

Ricardo smiled. "Safe to explore. That's all it is."

I looked at him. Really looked. The silver shirt pulled across his shoulders. How his eyes held mine with interest and patience and a different signal under both that hadn't been there last time.

"I want to dance," I said.

Ricardo stood and offered his hand. I took it. His palm was strong and warm and I let him lead me to the floor.

20 - DANCING ACROSS THE RUBICON

Lacey

On the floor I let Ricardo pull me in close. Bodies swayed around us. The bass moved through my chest, and the warmth of the room and the warmth of him blurred the lights at the edges.

We kissed. Slow at first. Then less slow.

I'd braced to feel like a stranger tonight, a woman trying on a life that wasn't hers. The opposite happened. The craving that rose to meet his mouth wasn't new. It had only been waiting for somebody to stop guarding the door. Tonight nobody was.

Over Ricardo's shoulder I caught Janice watching us from the table, her chin resting lightly on her hand. She didn't look amused or embarrassed. She looked interested.

"Touch me like they are," I whispered against his ear, nodding toward a couple nearby. The man's hand was sliding up the woman's leg through her skirt in slow, deliberate strokes.

Ricardo did. Too eager at first, then catching himself, slowing. His hands moved over my back, traced my spine, then lower, cupped me through the dress. I ground against him. He hardened against my hip, fast, and made a small, embarrassed sound at how fast, and I felt more powerful than I had in years.

"That feels good," I breathed, the words lost in the music.

I tipped my head back and bared my neck. "Kiss my neck."

He did. Soft mouth along my skin, teeth grazing. It went down through me, warm and low. The lights blurred another degree.

I reached down and rubbed him through his pants. He groaned and the sound thrilled me. I hadn't known I was the kind of woman who could take a man apart just by deciding to.

I pulled his head to my ear. "I want you inside me tonight."

I felt the sentence leave me. It belonged to a woman I hadn't been before tonight. I wasn't sure yet she was me. But she took the lead.

Ricardo's breath caught hot against my ear. "Yes. I've been hoping." And for half a second something crossed his face that wasn't gentle. Then it folded back under the easy smile and I wondered if I'd seen it at all. "And can I taste you, too?"

"Jesus." My aching pussy answered before my voice did. "Yes. Come on, I need a drink and then we can find a place."

Ricardo laughed. "Lacey. This is the place."

I turned toward the table.

Janice's eyes met mine. Her legs were slightly open, her hand resting between them, moving slowly, the small, deliberate movement unmistakable in the dim light.

I should have been embarrassed. Should have looked away. The obsolete version of me would have, and apologized for it for the next eighteen years.

The new version looked, and held it, and let her see me looking.

Janice didn't pull her hand away. She smiled at me, slow, and then moved it, like a woman finishing a thought rather than hiding one.

"I'm shocked you two are sitting down again after that show," she said, fanning herself with one hand.

Ricardo laughed, easy, the sound against my side where I still pressed close.