Page 57 of The Cloud Catcher

Part Three

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

2023

Zara’s foot tapped an uneven rhythm on the cracked linoleum floor, a broken metronome counting down the minutes in the sterile hospital waiting room. Her hand lay in Jay’s — a lifeline amid the sea of uncertainty that had become her life, their life. The sharp scent of antiseptic invaded her nose, mingling with the faint undercurrent of worn leather from Jay’s jacket. It was a sensory reminder of his steadfast presence beside her, and she found solace in the familiar smell.

‘Maverick, Zara,’ came the call, slicing through the low hum of hushed conversations and flickering fluorescent lights.

Each syllable hung heavy in the air, a weight that threatened to crush her already fragile composure. Jay gave her hand a reassuring squeeze as they stood in unison, their footsteps echoing off the stark white walls as they followed the nurse. For Zara, each step felt like an eternity, and every breath a momentary reprieve before the inevitable.

They entered a small room where sunlight spilled through the blinds, casting lines of light and shadow that danced upon the diplomas lining the walls. ‘Please, have a seat,’ Dr Emily Thompson said, motioning towards two chairs in front of her desk. ‘I’ll just close this door.’ Her voice carried a blend of professionalism and compassion, a melody that offered no hint of the news — good or bad — that she was about to deliver.

Feeling as if she was helplessly falling to her death, Zara sank into the chair, feeling smaller and more vulnerable than ever before. Her mind raced with the thoughts and fears that had plagued her since she’d been unwell, the mental noise somehow drowning out Dr Thompson’s words until she heard it clear as a bell.

Brain cancer.

The brunt of such blasphemy hit her like a tsunami, overwhelming her senses and scattering her already tempestuous thoughts.

In that moment of shock and disbelief, Jay’s hand enveloped hers as if trying to keep her grounded as he leant closer, his blue eyes meeting hers with unwavering determination. ‘We’ll face this together, my love,’ he murmured, his voice piercing through the fog of her shock.

‘Is there … Is there any chance?’ Zara’s voice trembled, as if each word was a leaf shaking in the autumn wind, moments before the inevitable drop.

‘Let’s discuss your options.’ Dr Thompson’s eyes held a depth of empathy like the endless horizon where sky met sea. ‘We have treatments that can lessen your symptoms, and hopefully prolong your time.’

‘So, there are options,’ Zara echoed softly, a glimmer of hope breaking through the clouds of despair. ‘Did you hear that, Jay?’ Turning towards him, she searched his deep blue prisms that promised her a love that transcended time itself.

‘Yes, my love, whatever it takes,’ he replied, his voice as steady as the earth beneath them, even as her world tilted off its axis. ‘We will do it together and get you better.’

Dr Thompson shifted in her seat.

Not taking his eyes from Zara’s, Jay gently held a respectful hand up to the doctor as if to stop whatever it was she was about to say. ‘We got this, Za.’ His gaze was as steadfast as his voice. ‘You’re not going anywhere, okay.’

Within his conclusive words, Zara found a spark of determination, kindling the flame of resilience that had always been at her core. He was right, as he’d always been. Together, they’d navigate this rocky path, bound by their love.

Breaking their spell, she looked to the doctor and nodded. ‘You heard the man.’ She smiled a little now, despite the turmoil of her heart. ‘Let’s get this show on the road.’

The world blurred between learning about her limited options, leaving the office, and then being in the passenger seat of the car as they drove home. Tears, angry and fearful, hot and unbidden, traced salty rivers down her cheeks as she sat in silence, beside Jay but a million miles away. He had one hand on the steering wheel and the other on her leg. No words could fix what they were now facing, and she appreciated him reading the room. Or in this case, the reality. Overcome with suffocating emotions, her breath came in ragged gasps, each inhale a wave that crashed over her, leaving her more adrift with its retreat as the flashing world outside the window blurred into a watercolour of greens and greys, indistinguishable and far away. With her forehead resting against the glass, she watched the trees swaying in the breeze, their leaves rustling. Through the air vents the scent of freshly cut grass mingled with the faint hint of rain, filling the car with a sweet and earthy aroma. But to her, it was all background noise, a weird kind of illusion that life was peachy perfect, all of which was drowned out by the deafening roar of her own thoughts.

‘Zara, my love.’ Jay’s voice was the steadfast presence she so desperately needed and yet it pained her to know how heavy this burden would be for him to carry, too.

Unable to speak, she looked down at her wringing hands, and sobbed like she’d never sobbed before, feeling as if her soul was about to pour out of her chest, along with her breaking heart.

‘Oh, Za.’ Pulling the car to the side of the road, Jay put it in park and left it idling. ‘It’s going to be okay.’ His hand enveloped her fisted ones, bringing warmth to the chilling grip of her newfound reality. ‘You’re going to be okay.’

Although she was aware he was sugar-coating a situation that had turned bitter, she could feel the weight of his love and support, a lifeline keeping her from sinking deeper into despair. And she loved him all the more for it. Turning to him, seeking comfort in his steady gaze, she adored how the sun glinted off his blue eyes in a dazzling display, and how the dimple on his chin deepened so attractively as he tried to offer her a compassionate smile.

‘I really do hope so,’ she managed to choke out between sobs. ‘I can’t … I can’t lose myself to this. Not now.’ Her words carried both fear and defiance, battling within her as she struggled to accept the cruel twist in their narrative. ‘Our girls, you, us, we have so much planned for your retirement. And our grandbabies, oh, Jay, I’m not going to see them grow up.’ She turned her cheek, unable to hold his gaze any longer.

‘Hey, look at me,’ Jay coaxed gently, tilting her chin to meet with his gaze again. His eyes were steady, holding her in place amid the blizzard raging in her mind. ‘You’re the strongest person I know, Za. And we’ll traverse this together. Remember that, for me, won’t you?’

‘I’ll try to.’ But the strength that he spoke of felt like a distant shore to her as she found herself caught in the undertow of emotions, flailing against the tide that was threatening to pull her under. ‘I really will.’ Unbuckling her seatbelt, she leant into him, allowing herself to be held by the love that had been her encouragement through every storm they’d faced before.

This, however, was no squall — it was a maelstrom that sought to engulf everything they cherished.

‘Let’s get you home, hey,’ Jay finally said when her tears slowed, and her racking sobs subsided. ‘Where I can take care of you, my love.’

Nodding, she buckled up again and rested her head against the seat. Jay pulled back onto the deserted road, where time and white lines passed them by, marked only by the ebb and flow of her tears, until the front door of their home swung open, and Lily and Amy rushed towards them in a flurry of concern and fierce love.