Page 154 of The Infernal Battalion

“When he let me go, he said that if he ever saw me again, he would kill me.”

Winter snorted. “I’ve seen you fight. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of Marcus.”

“Not afraid of him, no. But it’s a confrontation I would prefer to avoid.”

“Of course.” Winter laughed out loud. “Well. I don’t even know if I should thank you.”

“There’s no need to,” Sothe said. “In fact, you have every right to be angry with me.”

“For killing my parents, or for telling me about it?”

“Perhaps both,” Sothe said.

*

As the sun sank into the western sea and the clouds flamed pink and orange, Winter staggered back to her own cabin like a drunk. Not drunk, she thought. It was more like one of the times she’d gotten cracked on the head and felt the world spin around her and refuse to settle.

Brother. What does that even mean? Marcus was a comrade, maybe even a friend, though she’d never been as close to him as to Jane or Cyte. Bad examples. But how am I supposed to think of him now? As family? She had very little idea what that meant. The closest thing she’d had to family was Jane. And we know how that ended.

Alex was asleep in her bunk, naked under a knit blanket, her handsome sailor nowhere to be found. Winter climbed up to her own bunk and lay down fully clothed, trying to make sense of the mess churning behind her eyes.

Maybe it would be best not to tell him. It felt like taking the easy way out. But if I’m going to face the Beast, and probably going to die, would it really be fair to him? To give him his sister back and then snatch her away again? On the other hand, Marcus knew Ellie was alive, so if she didn’t tell him the truth he’d keep thinking she was out there somewhere, maybe keep searching. Sothe can tell him, after I’m gone. Then it won’t matter anymore. But that would be just as cruel as the other way around.

She must have fallen asleep, because she dreamed of fire. Marcus was there this time, not the child he must have been but as she knew him now. She ran from room to room in a burning house, feeling her skin blacken and char, calling his name. He called back, sounding close but somehow always out of reach.

When she woke, dawn was breaking, and her clothes were damp and chilly with sweat. Strangely, though, she felt better, empty but purified. She rolled out of bed and dropped lightly to the floor, finding Alex already up and sitting cross-​legged in her bunk, eating a dried roll with a piece of cheese. She had another, which she offered to Winter. Winter accepted gratefully, her stomach reminding her that she’d missed dinner yesterday.

“Thanks.”

“Mmm,” Alex said, then swallowed. “You must have been exhausted. I tried to wake you at shift change.”

“I was,” Winter said. “Just... a lot on my mind, I think.”

“Well, if you’re looking for a little stress relief, I definitely recommend passing the time of day with seaman Goltov.” Alex grinned and stretched like a cat, then paused. “Though I suppose you wouldn’t see the appeal, would you?”

“He certainly seemed... attentive,” Winter managed.

“He is that,” Alex said. “Doesn’t talk much, but definitely attentive.”

“Can I ask your opinion on something?” Winter said.

“Of course.”

“When we get to Vordan...” Winter hesitated. She wasn’t ready to talk to anyone about Marcus, but... “You know that I spent my time in the army disguised as a man.”

“Pretty effectively, too,” Alex said, then paused again. “Um. That was supposed to be a compliment.”

Winter waved it away. “I haven’t bothered since we left to find Janus, since everyone already knew. When we get back... I’m not sure if I should keep pretending.”

“Who else knows?”

“Raesinia. Sothe. Janus. Cyte. Abby and the others from the Girls’ Own. Feor.”

“So everyone, essentially.”

“Except for Marcus, and the other generals.”

“I’d tell them. What the hell, right?” Alex grinned again. “I mean, you’re the only one who can save them from the Beast. If you aren’t in a position to tell everyone to fuck off, then no one is.”