Page 165 of The Infernal Battalion

“Yes,” Winter said. “We weren’t certain if we could believe that, but it’s hard to think what the Beast has to gain by pretending to be Janus. I know it sounds crazy—”

“Not... entirely.” Raesinia shook her head. “Marcus met with Janus, during the campaign in the Pale valley. Janus demanded he surrender, but while they were talking he passed him a note. As though he had to... slip it past someone. It said that Janus’ mind was not his own and that you were our best chance against the Beast. That’s the only reason I know the name.”

“Saints and martyrs,” Winter said. “So he really could be... alive in there? Aware? Whatever that means.”

“And trying to help us,” Raesinia said.

“Or trick us into helping him. I wouldn’t put either past Janus,” Winter said. But she had to admit the corroboration lifted some of her doubt. “And now he’s coming here?”

Raesinia nodded. “With an army that’s at least twice as strong as everything we’ve got.”

“Ennika said the core, the Beast’s original body, is coming with him.”

“If we kill that, does it hurt the thing?”

“Not seriously,” Winter said. “But if I can get to it with Infernivore, the Eldest at the mountain thought I might be able to destroy it for good. That has to be the chance Janus talked about.” Winter took a deep breath. “If I push on north, I should be able to find it before he reaches the city. I don’t know exactly what will happen if I succeed—”

“You’ll never get close,” Raesinia said. “Don’t be stupid. The Beast knows this is a possibility, even if it doesn’t know you’re here. The core will be well guarded.”

“What else can we do?” Winter said. “I have to try.”

“We can figure out a way that gives you a chance at success,” Raesinia said. “Which means not running off half-​cocked. We may not be able to match Janus’ numbers, but he’ll have to at least deploy for battle when he comes against us, and that alone will give you an easier shot at the core.” She got up from the bed, her face all decision. “We need to talk to Marcus. He’s out there trying to bang the fresh recruits into some kind of army—”

“That may not be a good idea,” Winter said, a little desperately. “Time could be important.”

“Like I said, if we’re only going to get one chance, we have to make it count. Besides, I’m sure there are other people you’re going to want to see.” Raesinia smiled again. “You’re back from the dead. Do you have any idea—”

“No,” Winter said. “Please. You can’t... tell people I’m here.” Cyte. “I can’t...”

The room shimmered. This time, Winter realized, she was the one on the verge of tears.

There was a pause. After a moment she felt Raesinia take her hand, pulling her to a seat on a velvet-​cushioned chaise. The queen sat down across from her, cross-​legged on an ottoman.

“Winter,” Raesinia said. “What’s going on?”

“I just...” Winter swallowed hard. “When I confronted the Beast the first time, at Elysium, it nearly devoured me at the same time I was using Infernivore to try to destroy it. Assuming I succeed this time, I’m not sure that it... won’t succeed, too. I don’t know if there’ll be anything left of me afterward.”

“Oh,” Raesinia said. Her gaze was far away.

“It has to be done,” Winter said. “I know that. If it’s me or all of humanity, obviously it has to be me. I’m not... afraid.” That was a lie. Sometimes she felt like she was nothing but afraid. “But the people in the Second Division, Marcus... they already think I’m dead. Wouldn’t it be more cruel to them to come back for a little while and then to leave again?”

Raesinia sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Then I should stay quiet—”

“It might be more cruel, in the end,” Raesinia interrupted. “But I do know that if you asked them, if you gave them the choice, they would want to see you again. However briefly you were going to stay.”

Winter stared at her. Her throat was thick. Raesinia looked down, her hands interlocking in her lap.

“I’m hardly one to go around dispensing wisdom,” she said. “Queen or not. I just thought...” She trailed off.

“You’re right,” Winter said. “They would want to see me.” I’m just scared. Scared to see Marcus and of all that would mean. Scared to see Cyte again, and then face not seeing her. And the others. Abby. Feor. Sevran. I can’t just slink away. Winter swallowed again and sat up straighter. “Your plan makes sense. If you’re willing to help. “

“Good,” Raesinia said. “I’ll send a messenger to Marcus, and we can get started.”

“Actually, I think I need to speak to Marcus alone. If you don’t mind.”

“Of course.” Raesinia stood up, then looked back at Winter. “Do you need to try to find one of your old uniforms? The ones that, ah...”