Page 129 of Ship of Smoke and Steel

“Dead?” He nods. “Honestly I wish I could tell you. I don’t remember anything from before you came aboard, and even then not much until you found that node in the Deeps. How did you get here?”

“Kuon Naga,” I say, and he winces. “And after I found that … place?”

“It felt like … waking up.” He frowns, groping for words. “Or going from being nearly awake to wide-awake, maybe. Ever since you came aboard, I was aware, but it felt like I didn’t have enough strength to do anything, not even think much. Then when you got near the node, suddenly I could … feel that there was a … a larger space nearby, and I moved into it.” He shook his head, frustrated. “It’s hard to explain.”

“You stopped an angel. And you showed me the way out. How?”

“I could feel it trying to touch your mind. It found out what you wanted, and then decided you weren’t … allowed here, I guess. I tried to stop it, and…” He looked down at his hands. “I’m sorry. I know what I did, but I don’t have the words for it.”

“It’s all right,” I say. “When you say it, you mean the Soliton itself? The ship?”

“I … think so. It’s everywhere, anywhere the energy touches.”

“Is it really alive?”

“I don’t know. It can … make decisions, I think, but it doesn’t feel like a person.”

Blessed. There’s a hundred more questions I want to ask, but the stream of power is visibly thinning. I clear my throat.

“We’re almost there, I think. To the Garden. But I need you to show me the rest of the way.”

“I’ve been getting it ready.” Hagan raises one hand, and a ball of twisting gray motes materializes. Once again, he tosses it at me, and it sinks into my chest, leaving only a single twitching thread of gray on the outside. “You’re right; it’s not far now. But you have to hurry, and there are so many of them.…”

“We’ll make it.” He’s growing dimmer. “Hagan, why are you helping me?”

He raises one eyebrow, in a well-remembered, infuriating expression. “Why shouldn’t I?”

“You know, don’t you? That I…”

“That you killed me?” He nods, translucent now. “I remember.”

“Then…”

“And I understand why.” He flicks his eyes up at the platform above us. “You’re bringing them all to the Garden. You didn’t have to.”

I look down at Meroe’s peaceful features. “I know.”

“I always thought you were … better than the life we lived, in Kahnzoka.” When I looked up, Hagan has vanished, but his voice is still a whisper in my ear. “I’m glad you got the chance to prove me right.”

My throat is thick, and I blink away tears. The flow of Eddica energy dwindles to a trickle, and then vanishes. For a long time, I sit in silence, until Meroe stirs and opens her eyes.

“Were you talking to him?” she says. “The ghost?”

I nod. “He says the Garden isn’t far, but there are a lot of crabs in the way.”

“It’ll help to have you on the front line.”

She yawns and sits up. My shirt falls away, leaving her uncovered, not that it covered very much to begin with. I drink in the glorious sight of her, the soft curves. I can feel her staring back.

“What are we going to tell them?” I ask. It’s been preying on my mind.

“About what?”

“About what happened here.” I gesture to myself. “We come down together, and now I’m healed. Someone is going to guess what you are.”

Meroe shrugs, smiling. “You were already mostly healed. Whatever you took down in the Deeps must have had a lasting effect. You were just worn-out, and then I dragged you down here to rut.”

I snort a laugh, then hesitate. “You don’t mind? Telling everyone about … this.”